Part 2 of the Hitchhikers Anonymous Pentology,

Yesterday we were told, before we left, that we had to leave OMSI at 8 in the morning. Yes, that meant that I had to get up at 6. I nearly cried at the thought of getting up at 6 in the summer, to go wind surfing.

I got out of bed and put on my sweatshirt and swimsuit so i was ready to go swimming. I than went downstairs and fixed myself some blueberry pancakes and sat there, listening to sappy pop songs on my ipod. As I was getting to "Can't be Tamed," by Miley Cyrus when I heard the fain footsteps of my mom coming down the stairs. I quickly got off my Ipod and went into the kitchen to greet her with a hug. She enthusiastically hugged me back. I waited for a while, until Thomas took me to the OMSI building. On the way there we listened to ESPN Sports radio 10.80 The Fan.

The parking lot was empty, because it was so freaking early in the morning. We were the first ones there and so we waited for the check in to open and than Thomas checked me in. It was so freaking cold that I actually rolled down my sleeves. I know, right!

Once everyone got there, we went to the bathroom in the turbine hall. While everyone was taking care of there business, I was throwing paper planes down the elevator shaft. I never got caught. [fast forward] We got off the bus and started to eat our snacks. Before we went into the water we had to have our wet-suits fitted. This took like 8 hours because everyone didn't know how to put them on. I took like 2 seconds because mine was a perfect fit. And than they told us that we had to put on booties and a life jacket. Last year we didn't even wear a wet-suit, we roughed it, i only wore a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I almost drowned....

Once everybody had there wet suit on we went over to the river where we were taught how to wind surf. The thing that made me mad was there was 2 different kinds of 180's. There was an up wind 180 and a down wind 180. What's the difference, they both turn you around.

We, than, had lunch and then it was time to get into the water. I walked down to the shore and put a toe in the water. It was really warm. Slowly I took more step's until I was waist deep. it was freezing once you got to waist deep, and than it was the hard part. I had to put my genital area under the water. That hurt so much, man. I rode around on a board for a while until one of the life guards offered to help me actually wind surf. I said sure, and crawled onto the board. I hoisted up the mast and than
"plop!" I fell in backwards. My entire body was soaked now, and I was freezing.

I tried to do this so many more times, but every time I fell on my ass in the water. I never actually wind surfed. If I could name the field trip I would call it, Ass Wetting Boarding. I was soaked after that, and when we got out of the water, my feet got all sandy. YUK!

Tomorrow is gliding. Yep, falling out of the sky in a plane without a motor. Sigh.

A History of Goldendale,

Ladies and gentlemen, you always hear me ripping on how crappy Goldendale is and how small it is, but that is just because it is really fun to make fun of, but, I don't think that it would be, even a little bit fair, if I made fun of this small town without knowing any history about it. Today, when i woke up I had to goals in my head for what i wanted to to today. 1.) Watch where leBron decided to go (Miami Heat) and 2.) study up on the rotten, small, awesome town that I have called my home for the last 3 days. Well bucckle your seat belts and hold on to your Miami Heat caps, were going back to school.

[History teacher, Professor Hacker, stands in front of the bored classroom, and gets ready to lecture about his grandparents home town, Goldendale.] "I stand before you today, to give you knowledge of the outside world, and educate you, so you can look smart, in front of your grandparents at your family reunion. Lets get started.

In 1872 the town, of course we are talking about Goldendale, was given its name by the early homesteader John Golden. The Golden House is still viewable at Columbus and Collins St. in downtown Goldendale. In 1878 Goldendale became the county seat. Other early towns in the county were White Salmon, Lyle, Bingen, Glenwood, Dallesport and Bickleton, all still in existence, and all still have kept there really shitty names. Goldendale was officially incorporated on November 14, 1879.

Goldendale has remained the employment, business, commercial and banking center for the valley and, as the county seat, is the location for Klickitat County's courts and government offices. In recent years this small community has suffered from severe economic decline. After a local aluminum plant that once employed many residents closed, the small community struggled economically. The loss of tax base has taken its toll on the funds available for maintaining the city's infrastructure. In recent years there has been an interest in installing wind turbines that would generate power. While it has provided some jobs, this industry has not been the economic solution for which many residents hoped, and it is true that all 8 people that preside in this town all work there

In 2009, Goldendale was the site of the capture of an escaped insane killer, Philip Paul. That was the most exciting thing that happened there since the funeral where all the crazy people from Tennessee came and protested.

As of the census of 2000, there were 3,760 people, in the town, 1,515 households, and 963 families residing in the city. The population density was 1,592.6 people per square mile (615.1/km²). There were 1,690 housing units at an average density of 715.8/sq mi (276.5/km²). This next stat is really funny and it also shows you how much Goldendale hates black people. opp's was that my outside voice. The racial makeup of the city was 87.42% White, 0.21% African American, 4.63% Native American, 0.72% Asian, 0.27% Pacific Islander, 4.07% from other races, and 2.69% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 5.85% of the population.

There were 1,515 households out of which 34.4% had children under the age of 18 living with them, 46.4% were married couples living together, 12.7% had a female householder with no husband present, and 36.4% were non-families. 31.3% of all households were made up of individuals and 14.1% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average household size was 2.41 and the average family size was 3.02.

This next stat shows you how old this town is. I bet you all of the 65+ people go to Community Grace Brethren Church. In the city the population was spread out with 28.4% under the age of 18, 7.7% from 18 to 24, 26.1% from 25 to 44, 22.6% from 45 to 64, and 15.2% who were 65 years of age or older. The median age was 36 years. For every 100 females there were 90.6 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 89.4 males.

The median income for a household in the city was $26,030, and the median income for a family was $33,866. Males had a median income of $36,977 versus $22,289 for females. The per capita income for the city was $13,111. About 21.9% of families and 25.4% of the population were below the poverty line, including 30.5% of those under age 18 and 26.3% of those age 65 or over.

Goldendale is located within the arid area in eastern Washington known as a rain shadow, caused by the Cascade Mountains 40 miles to the west. Yearly rainfall averages 8 to 12 inches. This produces a landscape of open bunch-grass prairies dotted with sagebrush and rabbit brush containing the occasional juniper tree, while the more sheltered areas consist of ponderosa pine and oak savannahs. Overcast days are rare, occurring mostly in late fall and throughout winter. Summer temperatures can range well over 100 degrees, while winter, when most of the precipitation occurs, can see temperatures below zero, particularly in January. Summer thunderstorms occur intermittently, particularly in July and August, but due to high cloud bases, rain seldom reaches the ground in any appreciable amount. Lightning-caused range and forest fires are a common occurrence during this time of year, however. Spring flowers and green meadows and prairies make Goldendale a particularly beautiful site. Spring and summer can be very blustery since the Chinook winds off the Pacific Ocean are funneled through the Columbia Gorge. Fall tends to be almost windless, and the autuminal oak leaves add a lovely touch of golden rust red to Observatory Hill on the north side of town.

[Professor Hacker looks around the room, as if to look into the students minds, and than slowly walks off the stage.] This would be an appropriate time to clap. Don't worry, your roomate won't think your crazy for all that long, maybe for the rest of the day at most.