Major Room clean-age,

I wonder how many times in my life I am going to have to clean my room. I realize that I don't clean my room as often as the average christian child, but when I do clean my room all the pain the comes when I clean my room weekly combines and makes one big horrible mess of pain. the only good thing about cleaning my room this time, was that my dad was there to talk to me and teach me how to make Shank's out of old twilight CDs that came with the book. Oh so much fun.
I woke up feeling like I was hungover. Which I pretty much was after the encounter I had on the road yesterday and also the encounter I had in the bathroom only 12 hours ago. 1 word... diarrhea. I hoisted myself out of my bed and hopelessly walked to the bathroom to clean my butt. Anyway, when I was done with that, I got dressed and went downstairs to find my mom pumping.
"Hey mom. Wazzup?!," I said, a little to enthusiastically for someone that had spent the last 3 out of 12 hours in the bathroom. I wonder how much time in my life I am going to spend in the bathroom. One never knows how much time they spend in the bathroom. Did you know that the average person spends 1946.667 hours in the bathroom in their life in the bathroom. I have already spent approximately 2987.37429062 hours in the bathroom. Or so it seems.
"Oh not much, son of mine," she replied with a positive tone of voice. Or surprisingly positive because last night we spent like 3 hours on the road because there was a traffic stuff. I was so bored I was reading the label on the back of the truck. I learned what a tare weight was. Now when I grow up to become a sleezy trucker I will know how close I can come to breaking the law with the weight of my load. Japanese will come in handy than because I can make the cop think I am an immigrant.
Anyway, I went to school so boring.
On the way home my mother told me that I had to clean my room when I got home no matter what. I took my glasses off and then I heard the door ring and it was my dad. We went to school and he sat on my bed reading selections from the first Library of Eli. He was reading my book, the book of Eli.
When I was cleaning under my desk I felt like a technician, trying to fix peoples cars but epically failing because 3 weeks later you find out that your client died because you accidentally put the grenade you were going to use that night to repair their car. And right now my dad is talking about how he wants to take my cousin, Spencer to the bus stop with a Carebear singing "The Fabric of Our Lives." Thats my daddy.

The last week, or so,

I have spent the last few days at my grandma's house, in Washington. It all started on Friday, the last day of school for a while because of Spring Break. I thought that Grandma was going to pick me up, so I scanned the block to see if I could find a light green Prius. I looked and I looked, but I just couldn't find it. Instead on the north side of the school I found Thomas's car. I climbed in and no surprise to me... he was texting.
"Just one second, I am replying to something on Facebook," he said. I didn't say anything, because I know if I did say something it would probably be something I would regret in the near future.
When he was done, he set down his phone and asked me how my day was.
"Oh, you know. The same. Well actually Mr. Groom was here today and Mr. Bacon told us about our E.P's," i said.
"What's and E.P," he asked me, while starting the car.
"Expert Project, we have to learn a lot of stuff about something and share it with the class," I mumbled. He nodded and started to focus on driving. There was an unusual amount of red lights on the way home. I thought maybe God wanted me and THomas to socialize. I didn't really want to talk, I had a long day at school and I wanted to keep it cool for the next week.
I guessed that he had picked me up because he had gone to the tubs to soak and left the baby with grandma. He does that a lot now. I want to go to the tubs. When we got home I found grandma with my cute little baby brother.
I picked him up and said "I love you, little one," and gave him to Thomas.
Me and the Grandmister left shortly after that. The ride to Goldendale was pretty short, considering that we listened to an audiobook all the way home.
When we got to my home away from home away from home (that is not a typo,) I layed on my bed and watched NBATV until it was 10 and I went to bed. In bed i thought about basketball.

SATURDAY:

I woke up at around 8:30 because grandma had a thing were she wanted everyone to be up when she was. I got up and she fixed me a bowl of Apple Jacks and i sat down with my t.v tray and watched NBATV for a while.
Sadly there weren't any Blazer games on the night before so I couldn't really say that the show was "interesting." That was about all I did until noon when me and grandpa went over to the Basketball court to play some good ol' b-ball. I beat him 21 to 18. He wanted to quit after that.
So we went over to Subway and I had my regular thing. Turkey, mustard, L&T, salt, pickles and onions... yum.
When we got home I watched NBATV for the rest of the afternoon and than we had some dinner, though I don't remember what it was.
Then we all went to bed, thinking about basketball.

SUNDAY:

On Sunday I woke up, drowsily to grandma's voice, again. I stayed in bed for 30 more seconds, than slowly got up and walked into thee kitchen.
"Good morning," she said to me while preparing my cereal.
"Good morning to you," i said quietly, still fighting falling asleep while standing. We small talked for the rest of the 2 minutes and 48.6 seconds i was in the kitchen and then I went into my room and watched the games from the night before and all the highlights and that stuff.
I gobbled down my cereal and took a quick shower. Afterwards I watched more NBATV and got dressed.
We went to church at 10:30 so we could be there and talk with all the other people. Paster Greg's sermon was... interesting. We left the building very slowly, so we could socialize with everyone else.
"Oh Hannah you are growing up to be such a doll."
"Don't forget our piano lessons."
"Isn't God great."
"You are so handsome."
"Oh my land what a cute dress."
"How is your sister doing?"
"Um... he is actually my brother."
"Oh (chuckle chuckle) my mistake. How is he?
"Eli, why aren't you flying those h-e-l-i-c-o-p-t-e-r-s?"
"We can't fly them with all the chairs in here, Dwayne."
"Hahahahahahahahaha."
That is just a sample of what it is like walking out of Grace Brethren Church.
I had lunch when we got home and at 2:30 Grandma took me to play some basketball at the park. There was no one there so it was kind of boring shooting with no one but myself.
When all that stuff was over grandma took me home and I watched NBATV until about 6 when grandpa took me and grandma outside to help him put up sheetrock. Most of the time I was in the corner of the shed reading an old burnt up records book but occasionally I helped.

After this was all done I watched some more NBATV and then I went to bed.

MONDAY:

I woke up, but surprisingly not to grandma's call. I laid in bed for 5 more minutes so i could rest my feet and relax. I don't know why but after 11 hours of sleep I felt that I needed rest. Funny, right?
I got out of bed and went pee so I could go drink Hot Chocolate while the tank was empty. I said hello to grandma and got my yellow ball that my mom would not let me use at her house and started playing with it using the miniature hoop.

After this was over I ate my breakfast while watching NBATV, naturally. Grandma had to go teach Piano lessons at her church so I was alone in the house for a while. During this time I watched NBATV and played with the miniature hoop.
When she got home she fixed me some Hebrew National Hotdogs, even though they were the wrong kind. The day before we had a big argument about what kind of Hotdogs are pork and which are beef.
I ended this conversation by saying that it probably wasn't either one... it was another one. AHHHH! Oh, sorry about that.
The rest of the day was kind of normal. NBATV, blazer game, dinner all that jazz.

TUESDAY:

Tuesday was a really cool day. I woke up and grandma made me breakfast and yeah. Then me and her and my aunt Jessica left to go to The Dalles to go shopping and see the new Alice in Wonderland story.
The movie was great, though Johnny Depp was in it way more than he needed to be. We got a bottle warmer for my brother and that was about it.
When we got back home nothing much really happened. Except I had a great dinner of soup and crackers.

WEDNESDAY:

On Wednesday I couldn't focus because all I could think about was going to the park and playing Basketball. We left to go to the park at one, but we found a lot of kids there. So we went and did some errands first and then we came back but there were still a bunch of kids there.
So i decided to go and play with them, no matter what. At first it didn't work so well. It went something like this.
(Snicker.) "He is white."
"Hahahahahahahahah."
"Oh he can dribble it through his legs. He is like Michael Jordan," followed by an attempt to dribble through his legs followed by the ball ending up in the middle of the street. Now who's Michael Jordan, dumbbutt.
Than I found some people to play a game with and I came out with 10 points. By the end I was exhausted so when I got the ball I passed it to someone.

By the time this was all over I came home and went to bed, thinking about Basketball.

(I am going to skip Thursday because nothing happened.)

FRIDAY:

On friday we woke up at 7 so we could go see GG and Gramps.
On thee way down we listened to this Mary Higgins Clark audio book about, well nevermind.
Ok just to put this in perspective we drove 3 and a half hours to go to Burgerking. But I guess we say GG and Gramps.
When we got to Portland we picked up Jasper. He was so cute!!!

GG and gramps got to hold him.

And then we went home, and that was it.

THE END.

Life is Beginning to feel like a Routine,

My life is beginning to start to feel like a routine again. Everyday I wake up and go to school and stay at school and than go to my mom's salon and be bored all the time that I am there. That is exactly what happened today. I woke up, feeling very dizzy, and got out of bed. I was rubbing my back all the way from out of bed to the dresser to put my cloths on. I threw on the new jeans my mom got for me the day earlier. They were a tight fit but they looked fantastic on me. I put on my shirt and walked out of my crappy door.
When I got downstairs I found my mom on the couch pumping milk for my brother. She said hello and I said the same. After that there was a weird awkward silence. Than I went into the kitchen and got myself a bowl of cereal to eat. It was the banana almond kind that I hated, but I ate it anyway because I was hungry as hell.
Than I realized that today was a late start, the day were are school is so lazy they start school 3 hours later. Yep that's our school all right.

My mom left for work a couple minutes ago and now me and Thomas are watching NBATV from the night before. It was A spurs vs. Heat game and the Heat were getting blown out at home. I heard the doorbell ring and that was the sign that my brothers nanny was here, which meant that me and Thomas were going to go to school pretty soon... after he was done texting.
After the usual greetings were over me and Thomas left and started listening to the local radio station. That was fun. I told him that there was going to be a blazer game tomorrow. He said "ok," in a bored voice.
When we finally got to school I went to hang with Milo by the side of the school were he usually was. We said hi right as the bell rang so our meeting was cut short.
Japanese was boring, we were writing a persuasive letter to the principal about whether year round school was good or not. Math was boring to, we talked about finding the area of a circle and how to find the area of a shapes net. In science, Mr. Groom was gone again, so we watched that moon movie. Which was fun. In Language we played a literature game which shouldn't be characterized as a game because it was so boring.

Mr. Groom is gone again,

Today was March 15th and I am still recovering from Friday. I got 3 extra hours of sleep on Sunday, but that wasn't enough. I feel like I am high. So today i went to school feeling like crap. Yeah! I got to school early because I bugged Thomas to leave early but we left a little to early. We listened to hard rock songs the whole way there. And when we pulled up to the school i saw my friend Robert walking up to school. And he was walking with sunglasses and walking slowly, and with the rock music in the back ground it was like he was a super hero. The funny thing was I didn't see him later.
Anyway I got to school and I found my friend Julian waiting on the front lawn.
"Hey Eli Jelly Belly Nelly," he says to me. By the way that is his nickname for me.
"Hey Juliano Pigiano," i reply, and that is my nickname for him. He tells me about how he had been standing there for an hour and how he has been so bored. I keep saying that that's great over and over. When William and Henry get here we talk about the sleep over and how fun it was, ad I repeatedly point out that I got NO FREAKING' SLEEP! When school starts I go into Japanese class and that was so much fun. (Sarcasm sarcasm.) when we get into Social Study's we make this timeline thing that was super boring. Math wasn't that fun either. Science was cool because we had the trucker sub again and we went out side to shoot off our "cough rockets" again. Mr. Groom was sick again.

Nerf guns and couch patatos

R+ight now I am in the middle of a war feild. Some might call it spending the night at a friends house, I would call it... War. This is it. I finally get a chance to kill people. Thats always what I wanted to do.
Inbetween the random assasinations and the loud sound effects I see Dr. Peppers being spilt and big hairy dogs coming up the stairs, knocking peoples controllers out of there hands. Right now Milo is shooting me while playing video games... that takes skill.
The conversations we have go something like this:
"Danmit Eli i'm on your team," and "what the hell that was so cheap," and "just shoot the danm gun, you are going to die if you don't shoot."
Man, i wish someone coould see this so I could have proof of this.
"HELLICOPTERS SCARE ME, AHHHHHHHH DANMIT," is what Milo just said. Every other word that comes out of there mouth is danmit. I am in te middle of a battle feild right now.
"AHHHHH GODDANMIT, ELI WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU," Henry asked me
"NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME YOU 3@#$%," i said after that remark.
And now all of us are singing the Beyoc'e song, All The Single ladys.
"I would rather get killed in war than commit suicid," William said. I feel like I am finally getting a taste of the army. Exept we are on the couch drinking soda and yelling "SPOT CHECK," all day long.

Plaid trucker subs and textbooks

Today was interesting, starting at the very beginning it went something like this.
Eli woke up at 6:30 am even though he didn't need to because his school started at 9 and it didn't take 3 hours to get ready. Anyway Eli stayed in bed for 10 more minutes because he new he was waking up to early and so he slept a little past his alarm. Than it hit him, today was a shower day and he had to go and take one. But wait there was a way out. But if it didn't work he would have to take a shower in shame.
He got out of bed and walked down the stairs in to the kitchen where his mom was waiting for him.
"Why aren't you in the shower?" She asked him.
Sweat trickled down his face and bleed through his shirt as he said "because my butt is clean," he said nervously.
"Lets make sure," she said.

After that Eli got in the car and he and his mom drove to school. She made him walk again today and that bummed Eli out. In the morning he went to Japanese class and that was boring in math he got to get new text books in science they had a trucker sub wearing plaid. In Language Arts he read a poem called caged bird.


The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Back to School (And how I am going to bring my grades up.)

A couple days ago my mom's car broke down and so she couldn't come and get me on Sunday. So our plan was for me to stay over on Sunday and Monday and than on Tuesday morning we would wake up really early in the morning and drive down to Portland in grandpa's Pick-up. We took the Pick-up so my mom could go to Home Depot and get Cinder Blocks for her new Garden.
So on Sunday I watched NBA TV and played Basketball like I said in my other Blog. On Monday I was so bored it wasn't even funny. I watched the same highlights over and over again.
On Tuesday Grandma woke me up and we ate a very healthy breakfast of Apple Jacks. And than we were on the road to Portland yeha!
We listened to an audio book by Mary Higgins Clark. It was very very suspenseful. When we finally got to school no one believed that I had just driven down from Washington even though I did.
In the morning we had Japanese which wasn't long at all. Then we had testing in Math, which was a breeze. After that we had Advisory with a sub. And then lunch and recess. Health sucked and so did Science but Language Arts was fun because we had a sub. My mom picked me up from school and told me to get my grades up (good ol' mom,) and than we went to Portland nursery to get a composter that we are going to use to compost diapers. Grandma was at home waiting for us and I got to hang with hom for the rest of the night.

P.S The blazers won last night to the Kings.

George Bush... Fail

I thought this was super funny!!!

March 7th... I can't think of a better name,

Yesterday was fun. The day started off by me waking up and watching NBATV, of course. And then I took a shower and got dressed and me and grandma went to church... sigh. Paster Greg's sermon was about the devil and, honestly it sounded like he was talking about World of Warcraft.
"We are in a war and maybe the devil is going to send out one of his sergeants or privets to get you!!" Um... okay.
Anyway me and grandma made a deal that after church she and me would go out to the basketball court and she would do Bible study in the car and I would play basketball. And so I waited and waited, watching NBATV and Sports-center (only when it was on Basketball,) and I watched a Magic vs. Laker game which came down to the wire and L.A would have won if Kobe had seen Pau Gasol in the corner with and open jumper. Grandma also made cookies for me and grandpa. Yum.
After that it was about 2:30 so we went to the park and I played basketball by myself. Than these guys came over and kept picking up my ball and throwing it back to me.
They asked me if i wanted to play a game. I said sure. So we played 2 on 1 (I was the 1.) I started with the ball. I used my jimmy legs to fake him out and he would fall down than to the other guy I faked right went left behind the back shot up the shot and... swish. (That was for you mom.)
It was 8 to zip by 3:00 but then they mounted a comeback. I was getting tired of blocking there shots and stealing the ball, so I slacked on defense but I still won 16 to 10. I remember a great shot were I was coming out of and inbound and shot it up behind the backboard and it went in!
Now and Grandmas house I average 19.4 points a game... take that Derek Rose.

Brandon Jennings... The Hair Man

Brandon Jennings is now my favorite player in the NBA right now mostly because of his hair. He has the coolest hair in the history of the NBA. The cool thing about Brandon Jennings is that he changes his hair style a lot.

Brandon is so full of himself. When he was at the rookie challenge in Dallas he was all like "my fans," this and "my fans," that.
On July 16, 2008, Jennings signed with Lottomatica Roma of the Italian Lega A.] The contract he signed with Roma was for $1.65 million net income guaranteed and after earning the contract with Lottomatica, Under Armour gave Jennings a $2 million contract to showcase their products in the Euroleague. Jennings was the first player to play for a European team rather than play for a college basketball team since the NBA's age restriction rule was implemented.
In the Italian Lega A 2008-09 season, Jennings averaged in 27 games, 5.5 points, 1.6 rebounds, 2.2 assists, and 1.5 steals in 17.0 minutes per game. He shot 35.1 percent from the field and 20.7 percent from 3 point range in Lega A play. In 16 Euroleague games, Jennings averaged 7.6 points, 1.6 rebounds, 1.6 assists, and 1.2 steals in 19.6 minutes per game. In the Euroleague he shot 38.7 percent from the field and 26.8 percent from 3 point range
Jennings was selected tenth overall by the Milwaukee Bucks in the 2009 NBA Draft. He became the first player who skipped college to play professional basketball in Europe to be drafted by an NBA team. Jennings also made a notable appearance at the draft. He had initially decided not to attend the draft and preferred to be at a family function during the draft. After he was drafted by the Bucks, he left the family function and headed to the Madison Square Garden. He later came out on the stage after the 14th pick was announced to have his picture taken with the NBA commissioner David Stern, just like all drafted players who attend the draft.



During Jennings' NBA regular season debut on October 30, 2009 against the Philadelphia 76ers, Jennings recorded 17 points, 9 rebounds, 9 assists, and hit 2 three-point shots, just shy of a triple-double and played 34 minutes. In the second game on October 31, 2009 against the Detroit Pistons, also the debut in Bradley Center, Jennings scored 16 points during the third quarter and a team-high 24 points for the game to lead the Milwaukee Bucks to their first victory of the 2009–10 regular season.
On November 14, 2009, after a scoreless first quarter, Jennings scored 29 points in the 3rd quarter against Golden State en route to a total of 55 points in the game to break the team record for most points by a rookie, previously set by Lew Alcindor in 1970. Jennings' performance was the most points scored by a rookie since Earl "The Pearl" Monroe scored 56 in 1968. He became the youngest player to ever score 55, collecting the second-highest total for a player under 21, behind only LeBron James' 56 points in March 2005, and the second-most points scored by a Milwaukee Buck (behind Michael Redd's 57 in 2006).
On February 2, 2010, he was selected to compete in the Taco Bell Skills Challenge.

This might only be interesting to me.



.

March 5th (cough rockets)

For the last week, in our science class we have all been preparing for a big experiment that we were going to do on Friday. It all began on february 27th when our science teacher (Mr. Groom) got a little film canister, put water in it, put am Alka-seltzer in it, shook it and laid it down upside down.
What happened? The canister flew up into the air and shattered one of the light-bulbs on the ceiling. Now we were supposed to learn something from this but the only thing I learned was that energy efficient light-bulbs should spend more money on making there product more durable.
The next week we spent in the computer lab, practicing typing for a big report we were going to do on that. The deal was that we got into a 3 man group, we got 20 Alka-seltzer tablets, a timer and of course water and a canister, and we had to make up a big experiment out of it.
Our groups experiment was how fast would the rocket fly upward depending on how many Alka-seltzer tablets we put in there. I feel like such a nerd telling this to you but to find the velocity you find the time and the distance and you divide the distance by the time... right? The only reason I can remember that is because of STD S (speed)/D (distance)=T (time.) We would measure the speed in CMPS (centimeters per second.)
Now, a week later we actually got on the field and got our hands dirty, and of course Kai said something stupid.
"Hey Eli, you ready to launch these cough rockets?"
"What?"
"These cough rockets, you know Alka-seltzer is to help your throat pain go away."
"Um... no its not," I said.
"God Eli your so stupid," and then he walked away and right now I am so sure he is blogging about how stupid I am that if I found out he wasn't I would eat my pants.
That boy needs help... serious, serious help.

Eli's Positive list of rainbows and butterflies. (Things that I hate)

1.) Dark blue Volkswagon Bugs.

2.) The color blue.

3.) Light blue hates that peoples mothers knitted for them. (Sorry)

4.) The clock that is in our living room, because it is 5 minutes early and its a real bummer at night. (In other words I hate time!!!!)

5.) Blue lawn chairs with cup holders.

6.) The chocolate covered raisins in our cupboard. (They make big farts.)

7.) Go-girls!

8.) The number 8!

9.) Tigard Oregon is the worst city imaginable.

10.) The statue on top of the Oregon capital building. (It looks like it was make out of cheap gold tinfoil.

11.) The one piece that my dad got for my little brother because my mom wont let him wear it.

12.) The health room at my school.

13.) Motorized scooters. (Its worse if there blue.)

14.) My language arts teachers accent.

15.) Under sized basketballs.