Ocean Odyssey,

Well, before I begin with this post i think a full hearted "welcome back!" is in order. My off time was very healthy for me. I got to focus on the one thing that matters more than writing... basketball. This was very good for me. I think i will do it every once and a while to reconnect with my inner (and outer) basketball player.

Back to camp. This was my 2nd to last camp before all the camps were gone. I didn't know what to expect going into the first day. What kind of crowd would there be? Would it be the beanie and saggin' jeans crowd or a bunch of mental people... or both. AHHH! Well, when I stepped into the "corral," on the first day when my mom dropped me off i knew that i was in for it. There was a group of girls in one corner talking about Icarly and trying to act funny, and than there was a group of guys in the farthest corner away from the girls, all huddled around someone playing a Nintendo DS. And than there was a red head in a corner clutching 2 stuffed animals and talking to himself. I looked around to see if there was anyone else, there was an asian boy in the corner reading and that was it.

I later found out his name was Jonah and he was japanese. Yes, I can read your mind. "Oh, Eliii you can talk japanese to someone thats so cool!" Nooo! I will not speak japanese until i get graded for it or kid napped by the japanese mafia, and none of those are going to happen anytime soon... i think. I found out that he barely spoke it.

The class itself was kind of boring, because we sat in a class room from 9 to 3 and talked about fish, but on and on we would get to go out side and I would pummel the asian kids ass at basketball.

The only interesting thing that happened that week, that wasn't the camp out was when we got to dissect a squid. It was so wrong that if i described it here i would have to put a suggestive content warning at the top of the page. I got to pull out brains out of his ass and i got to cut him in half and i got to be in the new fabreeze commercial cuz' i smelled so bad. That was Wednesday and that meant that tomorrow I got to do an over night in Newport. Thats right. FOUR HOUR ROAD TRIP TO WATCH FISH SLEEP ON THE GROUND AND SWIM! It wasn't to fun, mostly because I got to share a tent with the kid with stuffed animals and Jonah. The stuffed animal kid snored and talked in his sleep and Jonah kept rolling on top of me. They got up at, like 5-am and so that meant i got to sleep peacefully until 8.

After i got up we packed up and got on a bus for 4 more hours to drive home, but now I am chillin' at grandma's house. Ahh...

Part 1 of the Hitchhikers Anonymous Pentology,

Here is 3 reason's why people should never wear khaki's ever as long as they live. 1.) They look horrible, the color is kind of the same as barf, and when your pants look like barf... just don't wear em'. 2.) They make your legs really hot and sweaty and uncomfortable, but maybe thats a good thing, because you could ruin your khaki's and not be able to wear them again. 3.) This is directed towards to khaki's with the cut-off shorts. You look horrible, the only person who wants to wear you is people at Eli's hit the road camp.

My camp started at 9, when Thomas dropped me off at the drop off tent, just outside of the OMSI building. I stood there, in my sweatshirt and jeans, and tried to look as cool as possible. I would frown and turn around some times and constantly flip my hair. The only thing that was missing was an Ipod, but they wouldn't let us take them with us. I kept mine with me anyway, so I could say that mine was with me. I also had my phone in a pocket in my back pack, also so I could say that I had it.

I ran into some girls that went to a camp last year, with me, but we didn't really talk until the Alpine Slides. Once everyone got to the drop off place, we went to the bathrooms to take a leak before we could no longer take a leak. We got on the bus and the girl counselor proceeded to tell us the schedule for the day. We were going to drive to Mt. Hood and go on the Alpine Slides for and hour and 30 minutes. Than we would go and eat lunch at the amusement park for 30 minutes, and finally we would play there for an hour before we would go back to ISMO, sorry, OMSI.

[fast forward past the part where I sit on the bus for 2 hours and be bored.] We were supposed to get on these really old, blue ski lifts to get to the top off the hill, before we sled back down again. That made me uncomfortable, because these things were ancient. The guy told me to walk on to the painted circle and wait for the ski lift to come and pick me up. I started out really slowly and than, little by little, we got faster. I tried to touch each pole as I went by it, than I heard someone from the seat behind me yell, "HI!" I said hello, back and than she asked me my name and yadayadayada. Than the people in the cart behind her started to talk to me, and it turned out they were the people from the camp, last year. I said hi and we had a loud conversation, considering we were 1 ski lift apart.

Once we got to the top, we got into 2 lines behind 2 slides. I got on the left one. The guy said I could go and so I started to push myself down and before you know it, i'm going fast as hell. It really hurt my arms because you had to push a lever to go fast and my arms were sore from clutching the sides of the ski lift while I was going up. I did that 3 more times before we drove to the amusement park to eat lunch.

I spent the rest of the afternoon playing on a bungie trampoline (hurt my balls) and sliding down a hill in an inner tube and getting sprayed by a sprinkler. On the bus ride back I talked with my friends from the camp last year. Tomorrow I need to get up and 6 to go to camp because we have to get leave early to go wind surfing. All the details, next.

I call this the hitchhikers blog because hit the road, kind of sounds like a hitchhiking camp.

Disney Channel Shows and Movies... 7/14/10

I was sitting there, on my water bed, flipping between channels to find a show that would keep me occupied until the new "Mythbusters," episode came on. I set it down, at my side, satisfied with the summer league basketball game I had found. I watched the very interesting (sarcasm) summer league game for about 20 minutes when I felt an ache in my back. I shifted positions and found myself sitting on the remote control. I sat on the recall button and the channel went immediately to a show on Disney Channel called Wizards of Waverly PLace. "Jessica!" I whispered to myself, she had been watching something on Disney, while I was playing basketball. Not cool.

I had watched this show before, way back in the day when I only watched Nickelodeon and Disney. It was on at 2 right after Hanna Montana. I have to make a confession. Back about 2 years ago, I happened across a Hanna Montana show, and I liked it i guess and I watched it and before you could say "I got the best of both worlds," I was watching it every day. Eventually, grandma caught me and she never let me forget it. When ever we passed the Hanna Montana merchandise at Fred Meyer, she would say "you wanna get some, Eli?" *Shiver Shiver.* Wow, i feel a lot better now that I have gotten that out there.

Back to the point, I watched this show for a while and I was cracking up after about 30 seconds of watching it. It was hilarious... to make fun of, and so here we get to the point of this post. I am going to lay down the rules of a Disney Channel show, and maybe even past the show, to the commercials. This post is not different from another that I wrote, Eclipse. I am going to make suggestions and lay down the rules of every Disney show. Oh, yeah, before I forget, Wizards of Waverly Place, is a show about 3 young wizards who are learning the wizard trade. Every Wednesday, they have class, getting taught by there non-wizard father. Every week they learn a spell and what they shouldn't use it for, and than the middle child, Alex, makes a mistake and almost exposes the wizarding world to the... humans. Sorry i really wanted to say muggles.

1.) There is always a clueless character in it that makes it humorous so that people not only learn a lesson from the show, so they can laugh... and learn a lesson from the show. They say really stupid things that are only funny to 3 year olds, like "I use a toothbrush to get the mustard off," or Question "So do you like Little Women?" "Well, you know I'm not that picky." Example: Max, from Wizards of Waverly Place, is the youngest of the 3 siblings and everyone thinks that he is really stupid and he is. He was the one that said the thing about the mustard. Example: Zack, from The Suit Life on Deck, is the oldest of 2 brothers and Cody, the other one is really smart but Zack is really stupid, he is always copying answers off of Cody's tests, and he is also really unsanitary, like he ate a sandwich that he found in his underwear drawer and he hides food under his fingernails so that "I can have a great snack in when i'm hungry at school."

2.) The characters need to get something new that makes the problem later in the episode. It can be an object or a person or a spell or a machine or something like that. The characters will either get jealous of each other or they might get hurt or they might hurt someone and that will eventually make them apologize and they will become best friends again, and the object or person or machine or spell will be back to normal. Example: in Wizards of Waverly place the siblings learned a spell that could duplicate them selves. Alex wants to go shopping with her friends but she has a Wizard lesson that day and her father refuses to let her go to the mall or what ever. She makes a clone of herself and puts her in position so that it looks like she is listening and than she bolts so she can get to the store on time. Meanwhile at home, her father tells her clone that she can go to the store but her clone doesn't respond, since its just a dummy. So they go to the store and Alex gets busted.

3.) There needs to be a serious part at the end where everything gets straightened out and people apologize to each other and everything is fine. Example: In Wizards of Waverly Place Alex gets grounded for sneaking out and so she goes up to her father and says that she is sorry and that it was stupid and she says sorry again and than she hugs him, and which point I am on the floor crying because its so funny.

This has been "Breaking down the show," with Eli Hacker, see you next time.

Who am I?

I feel like a completely different person, now that school is over. For one thing I can pretty much just sit on the couch and veg all day. For another I can sleep in and wake up when ever the hell I feel like it. just for the hell of it, I still set my alarm for 7 even though i don't wake up, then. I like the feeling of waking up, thinking it is a school day, realizing its not, and than going back to sleep.

Maybe its just the summer air but I have been having some pretty wacky dreams lately. For example, last night I had a dream that PPs had funded a trip for the entire JMP to go around the moon. Not on, just around. The teacher that would be taking us was, of course, Mr. Groom. Before we got on the rocket he made each of us sign a little waver that said if we die our relatives cannot sue PPS. I signed it. I remember 2 things that were weird from the dream. 1.) I sat next to Anna Claire (one of my worst relations of all time) and we had an argument about how she shouldn't keep her papers in a CD case because it would waste glass. I think that maybe i just wanted to argue with her. 2.) Milo (see "Supporting Cast") had a white computer from the language lab and on the screen was a weird version of the Comcast cable menu.

When I woke up I was unusually oscitant. I think it had something to do with the really weird dreams.

Thomas has been really into watching World Cup soccer in spanish and let me tell you, the people just talk a little fast for me and after a while the voices can get really annoying. oh mi gosh que era uno de los mejores movimientos del futbal de toda la hora. guau! eso era asombroso! and so on. That is the voice that is echoing in our home while I write, read, play basketball etc.

It isn't a bad thing but after a while it can get just a tad bit annoying.

Another thing that I have been doing with my summer break is reading to write. yesterday i went to the library and got 3 boks on writing, editing and fiction. One of them is called Writing Fiction for dummies.

And I have to say it has definitely helped me and so I definitely recommend it to anyone who seeks fiction writing enlightenment.

Thats all the time we have for now.