Ho' Depot's and Adison Rose,

Last night was epic. Not a good kind of epic, just epic. First off, there was a big giant "BOOM," every 2 seconds and sometime the boom even shook the house. Second, I left my shades up so that I would be able to see the fireworks as I drifted off to sleep (with the faint vibration of the house every 4 seconds) but that didn't work out either, because when I closed my eyes I would hear fireworks and i would open them immediately and they would stop. At about 11:30 it really started to piss me off, so i decided to just start going to sleep. Let me tell you, people, I slept because when I woke up, it was 10 and Thomas was telling me he was going to work and my mom was going to visit the new might-be nanny.

I thought it would be smart to seize the opportunity and so I did. I stumbled out of bed and started to play my PS3 video game, 2K10. I started a new Myplayer (you make your own character and try to get him to the NBA) and I swore that this one was going to make it to the NBA and not get sent to the D-league (trash can or reject can.) I named him the stupidest name in the world. I named him Adison Rose. Yeah, that's right Adison Rose. I later found out that, that name was totally a girl name so I went to settings and changed his sexuality to homosexual. It worked better from there because if he ever got a go ahead bucket he would strut up the court slowly and file his nails, all the while flipping his hair.

This one really was different, because he was kicking ass from the moment he stepped on the court. I thought i was going to lead him all the way to the NBA and I am so close. He got invited to the Miami Heat's training camp (he was thrilled about that, they got sexy male models) but the first 2 games he played, he sucked Mario Chamers' balls. I think in the 2nd game he got like 9 assists 17 rebounds and 2 points that came from the free throw line.

When he got invited to the training camp, I made him get a bunch of tattoo's everywhere, and I added a really cool beard. Wish me luck, I really think I need it (lets review, trying to lead a homosexual player with really bad shooting and a bad uniform pattern to the NBA) stop it! (No you stop it!) Don't listen to him he- (No, he's crazy.) *Stop it, both of you!*

PART 2,

Mom decided that she wanted to get ready for our garden by making a trip to the home depot. I thought it would be really fun, what with all the lawn mowers and chain-saw's that don't work. Mmmmm toasty. I also wanted to go there to get some onion's because I really want to plant some for the garden. But my mom didn't want to get plants, she just wanted to get shovels and other crap like that. At one point I was on the ground yelling "Onion's, mom, I want the damn onion's!"

But I have to admit, it was fun to sit on the lawn mowers and pretend like I was driving. I would pretend drive like Ron, with one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.

We also got some wood lining because she wants to make the path to our back yard full of bark dust and lined with those. I think that it will never get done but if it does it is going to be freakin' awesome.

Attention/caution: This post is a lot funner to read if you read it and listen to Goldfrapp's "dreaming," at the same time. Also this blog contains so much sarcasm, that the author can't be sarcastic for a few more weeks so don't believe everything you read. Again, good life lesson.

Italic's...

Does anyone want to know why, I am using the italic's setting while I am writing. Well to tell you the truth they came out with the new blogs of note and guess what? mine wasn't there, but there was a new blog on there called Girl and Guitar and they were always using italics and it really annoyed me but I am going to try to do it and see what happens. Obviously the blog is still the same it is just that there is italics everywhere.

Anyway, besides that I want to tell everyone about the all important 3rd part of the Expert Project... the Movie or "documentary" if you will, even though none of anyones documentary weren't even close to the island of Around the Idea of a Documentary. So the whole thing went like this. Mr. Musashino would go on stage and introduce the next person and than the crowd would clap and the person would go on stage, give pre-written speech that Mr. Bacon wrote and than they would play his/her movie and it would all be done and good. There were 3 main days where we were going to show the documentary but it seems like we are going to bleed into a 4th day because we didn't finish the list for today. I, stupidly, decided to sign up to do it on the first day, today.

I felt really stressed and nervous. I hadn't even memorized the whole thing and I was the 11th person to do it today. Right as the whole thing started I started to practice the speech over and over and after the 5th or 6th person i was so ready it wasn't even funny. If I could have done it right after that feeling I would have kicked ass on stage and afterwards everyone would come up to me and say "oh Eli that was the best pre-written speech that you didn't write but you performed it, ever," and I would say "little boy... you can be as good as me to, all it takes it practice," and than I would sign his forehead and do it again.

For the next few video's I totally lost my mojo. I was starting to get paranoid and I could stop telling julian how nervous I was and he kept telling me to shut up. At this point I was scared as hell but I reassured myself and told myself that we were still on the 9th one and it would be okay. And than I looked at the sign and discovered something that would change my day forever. I WAS NEXT!!!! I looked at Julian and said I am next and cursed a lot and he said "yes!" because apparently he really wanted to see mine.

The movie before mine was really fast and quicker than I knew it the teacher was on stage introducing me. As soon as he got off the stage and walked to the comuter, i got off the bench and started to waddle over to the stage. A carefully stepped up the step because I knew that when I get nervous I am really clumsy. Once I got up there I waved and I heard some people in the crowd yelling my name and saying "yeah" and that kind of made me feel better, but on the scale that Air Resistance effects a tennis ball in my hand.

As soon as I heard my voice in the mic i knew that my life was over, my humanity was gone and my courage and stick to attitude were gone faster than a roman candle on the 4th of July. I knew that I had to finish it. But i couldn't i was embarrassing myself in front of everyone that I have known since the beginning of my school career. The worst thing wasn't that I was embarrassing myself, the worst part of it was that I knew that I was embarrassing myself. I know that no one knows japanese but i pretty much forgot the whole middle so in English it sounded like "hi...bye" and than I got off stage and everyone applauded and i was thinking that maybe I didn't mess up, but when I got in my seat Julian hastily reminded me that I sucked so much on stage.

The good part was that when my video came on everybody loved it. The big thing was that I was interviewing myself. The story is that i found out that my filming partner Milo was a suckish excuse of an actor so I knew that I had to improvise. # days before we started filming I came up with the idea that i could interview myself, i could wear a costume for being the host and than I could to a costume change for when I was Neil Young. For the host my costume was Sweatshirt and Jeans and for Neil Young my costume was an Oregon Ducks shirt and a cowboy hat that my mom dug out of her closet.

The cool thing is that on Friday we are doing a thing called the Taborsan Academy Awards and it is where they have category's and they give you a mini oscar if you win and I totally think that I am going to win one. I saw Musahino Sensei when he was grading me and he was watching the movie and smiling and the only other one that he had smiled to had been Owen and Sam's video and there's was by far the best video out of all of the video's ever.

When Musashino Sensei got on stage to introduce the next person he said that it was weird and he thought he saw the same face on 2 different people. I am still praying to God that he was joking.