Top 5 Rip-offs of all Time,

When I was writing the blog about the typewriter that had white out for ink, it got me thinking, that maybe I should make a list of the top 5 rip-offs of all time. Just so, you know, you people know what to stay away from when you are in Canada or Office World etc. You should print this post out and keep it in a pocket so you can refer to it whenever you feel doubtful about something. Lets get this puppy started.

5.) Toyota Cars. Has anyone been watching the news. Those cars are death row... on wheels. The only way you can survive in one if the brakes get sticky on you is to quickly watch the Worst Case Scenario With Bear Grylls episode where you can't use the brakes, and even that sucks. They had a recall of Toyota's but I don't know if they gave the people there money back. Knowing Toyota... well I don't want to be mean. But if any of you out there are in the market for buying a new car, I would like to encourage you NOT to go to the Toyota store. I know they have the cool mini van but you still should go and take your chances with a safer car. Perhaps Subaru or maybe an Audi or maybe a Mustang... mom.

4.) Therapy. Know I know that some of you might not agree with me, I just think it's a bad idea. This is just my opinion. I think that it is kind of stupid to pay $1000+ to go vent to somebody who is only going to write things down in his/her notebook and say "uh huh." I know it feels good to tell somebody how you really feel, but thats what mom's are for, and if the reason your in therapy is because of your mom, than go over to a friends house and tell them or tell your other relatives. I know that therapist's tell you what is going on and why, but think about it, if you dug deep inside yourself, you could find the reason to, or maybe one of you friends or relatives could. Bottom line I think that therapy is a waste of money and a bad idea. Again this is only my opinion. Feel free to disagree.

3.) The Hawaii Chair. This is an exercise machine that is supposed to... i don't even no what it's supposed to do, all the people said in the commercial was "it really works." The Hawaii Chair is a chair that goes in circles around and around will you are sitting on it. I don't know about other people but that would really suck when I was talking. "Yeah, jOOOOOOEEEEE! I will GEEEEEEEEET! those papers TOOOOO you right AWWWWAAAAYYYYYY!" LOL. All in all it really sucks so stay away from it.

2.) White Ink. As seen in my other post that i wrote a while back, my typewriter came with a set of white ink. Yes you heard me right, ink that is white. White out. How am I supposed to see that? Oh yeah I put in black pape- wait it won't fit in the typewriter, so i guess the only way that I will read it is to see if i could see the indentations on the paper. The good part is that if I make a mistake with my white ink, I can erase it with my white, white out.

1.) Canadian Bacon. Yes you heard me Canadian Bacon, or as I like to call it... ham.
Thats all it is. Its just packaged ham. If you cook it, its not bacon, its cooked ham. It just doesn't work out. So from now one, if someone you know makes a really bad rip-off, all you have to say is "you pulled a Canadian Bacon,"

Oh "Brother,"

We= Me and my grandmother.
Do you know what that is, right above this sentence? Of course you don't otherwise you would be blogging about it too. It is a piece of crap, is what it is. It is a useless piece of plastic that draws people in a than spits them out later. This might be worthy to add to the rip off list. Heck, we would put this at number 1 on the all time rip off list. I am going to sue Office World and Brother Typewriters, for giving me a defective typewriter. You hear that, Brother, you've been warned.

Yesterday, we ordered some ribbon to put in it so we could actually see the text. We were so happy when it arived nearly 24 hours later, on the front door step of grandma's house. We danced around and sang and of course praised the lord. We. then, got it out of the box that it was being contained in and went over to the you-know-what, and tried to see if we could take the other one out. First we took the ribbon the printed white, out of it and than we tried to take the cartridge out. We popped it out only to find that it was actually part of the machine and that we were supposed to put the other ribbon on top of it, not where it was. After realizing this, we sat there, wishing we hadn't done that.

We dedicated the next 30 minutes to trying to hook the thing back on the... other thing. We tried different things, including the old push'n'pull and using a knife, a fork, a toothpick, another knife, and last another knife. No luck, until I heard a snap from the you-know-what and grandma said "I got it." There's nothing like using your hands.

I got the black ink ribbon and snapped it into place, just above the other thing that I don't know the name of. It was all in place. We had the letters the ribbon, the snapper thing that makes the letters and, most importantly, the paper. I looked at my grandmother, and she looked back at me. We shared to quick prayer and than I sat down and typed one letter. F. And than I typed another letter. U. I pressed the space bar enough times so we could see the spot on the paper where I wrote those to letters. Nothing.

At that moment I turned into a bull and started charging at that typewriter, like a red sheet, all the while swearing my ass off... in my head, but all that came out of my mouth was "gosh." I fiddled with it for about 30 more minutes, but grandma had already given up. She went into the kitchen and started to make some Peanut Butter cookies. (Do you like nuts?) After 30 minutes passed by I indignantly walked into my room, sat on my sore ass and tuned the tv to channel 402 to watch some NBATV.

Wet-Ball!

Hello, reader's, I am finally back from my aweso- my basketball camp at George Fox university. I never thought I would say I was tired of basketball, but after that I might not touch one until my next basketball camp. Don't freak out, but I think, right now, I am leaning towards not liking basketball. I know! Here is my story.

Well there I was sitting on my couch bed, in my really small dorm. I looked around the room and took it all in. It was the first time I had really been alone all day, but it was worth it. My roomate was in the bathroom, taking a shower and all the other kids had finally stopped dribbling there f***ing ball down the hallway's. Before, I was laying down, trying to relax, but I couldn't, due to the bouncing of the balls.

My roomate came into the room and almost immediately turned off the light and got in his purple sleeping bag. I decided that I liked him. All the other people that I have stayed with at a camp have been the kind of kids who wake up at 7 without an alarm, and decide that they are bored, so they wake you up. I hate those people.

I tried to shut my eyes, but I couldn't at all. I couldn't go to sleep, so I thought about my day. We left at 12:30 and when we were on the road we listened to mom and Thomas' valentines cd. It was beyond sappy. We got to the main building at about 1:30 and we got into a long line, to sign me up, or rather to check me in. We went to find my dorm, and than found out that we had to drive to the high school because there was a bell choir staying in there. We dropped my stuff off at the dorm and drove to a gym that was at a different high school.

Once we got there we quickly found out that we needed to have my ball, even though the list said that we didn't. (flip off, flip off.) We than, drove back to the dorm and got my ball.

We were all separated into groups and I was in the 3rd one. Our group went to a big gym, right across from the one that we were in. I took a moment to look at all the coaches and coaching staff. For privacy purposes I will not use there real names. There was a really, really white one named marion berry. Now, when I say white, I mean, white. He was wearing his socks really high and his shirt was tucked into his shorts and his shorts were pulled up to his belly button.

There was a really fit one who seemed to be pretty good, a short one, and another short one, who was the one yelling at us at that moment.

I am not going to tell you everything about camp, just the general stuff and the highlights. The cafeteria was in the back of the main building and it was a really big room. We would get in a line and get a trey and some silverware. We got to get our own drink and everything, it was like a buffet. I thought that the food was going to be good, boy was I wrong. The food was basically freeze dryed grease. It sucked balls.

When we were in the gym, when ever someone would make a 3 someone would always yell out wet-ball. It got really annoying after a while. Every 2 seconds you would hear someone yell, WET-BALL!

That is why I named this blog after it, because it was the word that I heard the most.

The next cool thing that I did was on Tuesday night, we did this thing called intensity night. It is where we do all this work out stuff like push ups, mushroom hops, super-man's, mini holes, what have you. I got the best work out that I think I have ever had... ever! It was so intense. I sweat through my entire under shirt and I was so tired that after a while it was a rest to do push-ups.

The next thing I want to say is that I learned a lot at this camp, but I didn't really like it that much.

The last thing I want to say before this is over is that I thought it was only going to be a little catholic. Wooi mama. I was wrong. there are bible quotation's everywhere you looked and on the last night a speaker came and he made us ask god to save our mortal soul. Yes, we were forced to pray.

In discussion groups we were asked to say how god has effected our life and I said that i didn't have a story and I wasn't really religious, and the coach said that if I wanted to live my life like that, "so be it." I feel so bad!

Wet-ball!

ABC Family? Yeah right!

I just want to dedicate this blog to all my friends at school who hate ABC Family and all my spy's at the headquarters wh-you know what, never mind. The one thing that bugs me about ABC Family is that they come out with a new show every 1 day. I am not even joking, go to ABC Family right now and I bet $50 that there will be a new show there that I haven't even seen... and I watched that channel last night. What did I watch on ABC Family you ask. Well that is a good question. I was watching the premiere of there show that had been introduced 3 hour previous, Pretty Little Liars.

The plotline of this story is that there were these 5 girls who were in a pact and they told all of the pact all there secrets, and one night one of them goes missing. The girls name is Alison. And than 1 year later they all keep getting these messages from "A" and everyone knows this is Alison. But there is a twist. They find her body in her old attic and she is dead, and than at her funeral all the girls get a message that says "I am here Bitches and I know everything," and than the episode ends.

The thing that is weird about it is that they go into the details of everyones life and its just really gay. My point is that ABC Family should change there name to ABC When the Kids go to Bed. Eli out.

Sicky, sicky, sicky,

I don't remember how, but somehow I woke up in the middle of the night and I was sweating a lot. I felt the urge to get myself out of bed and get a glass of water. But I was to lazy and I never got around to it. I lay there and felt the urge to take a look at my clock. But I was too smart. I know that If I look at the clock, sitting on my bed-side table, I would never go to sleep because there would be to much pressure to go back to sleep.

I went back to sleep for a brief amount of time before I woke myself up again. My grandma said later, that it was probably the rain that woke me up. I knew that I would later regret it, but I looked at my alarm clock and was surprised to see that it was 10 till' 7. I lay on my bed for a little longer to get a little bit more rest, and than I got off my lazy butt and went pee. While I was going pee, an idea jumped into my head that Mythbusters was on at 7. I really liked that show, but it wasn't on during the weekend, while I was at grandma's and my mom wouldn't let me watch it without a fight. I walked out to the living room to see if grandma was awake, and I found that she was. I asked myself "who gets up this early," and than I started laughing really hard, realizing the irony of my statement.

I went back into my bedroom and got the remote off the top of the television. I carefully turned on the t.v and started watching Myhtbusters. Somehow, when I was watching it, I got to feel really crappy.

My head got real dizzy and it also started to ache really bad. My nose started to clog up and I couldn't breath. I felt like a dog because I was watching t.v with my mouth wide open... lol. It kinda sucked!!

To A Happy Earth Day,

Happy Earth Day to you, Happy earth Day to you, Happy Earth Day dear Eeeeaaarth... Happy Earth Day tooooo Yooouu. What? I felt that it was appropriate to wish the Earth a Happy Earth Day. The reason I remembered today was Earth day was that all the teachers in the school, besides Mr Seigel, wore these green faded "Happy earth Day" T-shirts with a picture of an owl saying "hoot," on it. And Mr. Groom made a big huge deal about and talked about littering and stuff like that. You're a science teacher, man. I wish that we could rid the world of littering, but more importantly I wish that we could rid the world of people over talking about littering and people writing books about how you can save paper... and those pencils that are made from old newspapers, that are the cheapest piece of crap I have seen in the whole universe.
Now, on to what actually happened on Earth Day. Me and my mom left the house, but not very fast because when we were about to get in the car I realized that I had forgotten my glasses, so I went back inside and grabbed my glasses and said goodbye to my little one. Earlier Thomas had posted some funny things on Facebook about how Chuck Norris was so afraid of... "the mage?" Yeah... ok I guess thats what he said. We got in the car and my mom quikly turned on the Kboo radio station and we listened to that most of the way there. I was making fun of it pretty much the whole time.
"And uhhhhhhhh why is it like uhhhhhhh that?"
"Well, the health care for women uhhhhhhh is not as good as with uhhhhhhhh guys, I don't uhhhhhh care what they say about it uhhhhh its not."
It was pretty funny, but my mom got sick of me saying uhhhhhhh and trying to imatate them so she turned off the radio.
When we got to the place where my mom drops me off I tried the best that I could to distract her to get her to actually drive me to the school, but it didn't work. She gave a big me fat kiss and afterwards I checked to see if any of my friends were in the proximity of ground 0, but luckily no one was there. Sigh. I walked up to the school very slowly for no reason at all. I like walking. It makes me feel like I am my dad, walkin' all the time and smellin' like Axe. Ahhh Phoenix.
I got to the school and me and my friends did our usual morning thing until the bell rang. 1st period was so boring that I could have fallen asleep for 10 years... my mom would be all like "you have 10 years of homework overdue," "I missed you too mom." We worked on our E.P the whole time and the sub was acting like a b****! My theory with subs is that they purposely try to get you in trouble so that they can tell the teacher that and the teacher will like them. They are so smug.
In Math class we played a math game and we were supposed to tell what % we had of winning the game. They're was a 51.5% chance for player B to win and a 48.%% chance of player A to win the game. In the end of the class i got up on Ms. Sullivan's stool and imitated her saying hi I'm Ms. Sullivan, and I did it with her game show host voice.
At lunch recess we were all playing basketball and stuff, and so i went up for a shot and I landed funny (made the shot) and Kenji hem hem "accidently" landed on me too. I twisted my ankle really bad. But the cool thing was that after that I didn't shoot I just passed it and I came out of the game with like 8 assists. I limped over to health class and learned about the male reproductive system. So much fun.
I limped over to science and we did this thing were we have to make the Velocity match what it is on the paper. I totally screwed up because the line was going up, not down. Later I learned that to make the line go down one must walk TOWARDS the motion detector. Ahh that makes sense.
In Language Arts we talked about the play we are going to go see next week called The Chosen.

THE END