*Sniffle sniffle.* Well, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come for me, to leave my home away from home, in Goldendale to return to my home in Portland. It has been a good 2 weeks, all the NBATV, all the mini basketball in the hallway, all the basketball games (that i kicked ass at) and all the food. I will miss it. I won't return to this small town for another 3 weeks. Yes, I have camps for 3 weeks straight. That means that I will not be able to make fun of this town for 3 weeks! I will have to make up for it, somehow. I got it! I can make fun of Portland. Yes, thats what I'll do. *Pat on the back.*
But, i miss my baby brother so much, it will be good to see him again. I don't want to leave. I like it up here, aside from the really bad service, the obnoxious wind, the bad hoops, the bad typewriters, the sky thats way to light, the channel flipping whenever a Tampax commercial comes on. Other than that I will miss this town so much.
Why do I have to leave. WAAAH!
Showing posts with label zink (not really). Show all posts
Showing posts with label zink (not really). Show all posts
7.16.2010
7.14.2010
Disney Channel Shows and Movies... 7/14/10
I was sitting there, on my water bed, flipping between channels to find a show that would keep me occupied until the new "Mythbusters," episode came on. I set it down, at my side, satisfied with the summer league basketball game I had found. I watched the very interesting (sarcasm) summer league game for about 20 minutes when I felt an ache in my back. I shifted positions and found myself sitting on the remote control. I sat on the recall button and the channel went immediately to a show on Disney Channel called Wizards of Waverly PLace. "Jessica!" I whispered to myself, she had been watching something on Disney, while I was playing basketball. Not cool.
I had watched this show before, way back in the day when I only watched Nickelodeon and Disney. It was on at 2 right after Hanna Montana. I have to make a confession. Back about 2 years ago, I happened across a Hanna Montana show, and I liked it i guess and I watched it and before you could say "I got the best of both worlds," I was watching it every day. Eventually, grandma caught me and she never let me forget it. When ever we passed the Hanna Montana merchandise at Fred Meyer, she would say "you wanna get some, Eli?" *Shiver Shiver.* Wow, i feel a lot better now that I have gotten that out there.
Back to the point, I watched this show for a while and I was cracking up after about 30 seconds of watching it. It was hilarious... to make fun of, and so here we get to the point of this post. I am going to lay down the rules of a Disney Channel show, and maybe even past the show, to the commercials. This post is not different from another that I wrote, Eclipse. I am going to make suggestions and lay down the rules of every Disney show. Oh, yeah, before I forget, Wizards of Waverly Place, is a show about 3 young wizards who are learning the wizard trade. Every Wednesday, they have class, getting taught by there non-wizard father. Every week they learn a spell and what they shouldn't use it for, and than the middle child, Alex, makes a mistake and almost exposes the wizarding world to the... humans. Sorry i really wanted to say muggles.
1.) There is always a clueless character in it that makes it humorous so that people not only learn a lesson from the show, so they can laugh... and learn a lesson from the show. They say really stupid things that are only funny to 3 year olds, like "I use a toothbrush to get the mustard off," or Question "So do you like Little Women?" "Well, you know I'm not that picky." Example: Max, from Wizards of Waverly Place, is the youngest of the 3 siblings and everyone thinks that he is really stupid and he is. He was the one that said the thing about the mustard. Example: Zack, from The Suit Life on Deck, is the oldest of 2 brothers and Cody, the other one is really smart but Zack is really stupid, he is always copying answers off of Cody's tests, and he is also really unsanitary, like he ate a sandwich that he found in his underwear drawer and he hides food under his fingernails so that "I can have a great snack in when i'm hungry at school."
2.) The characters need to get something new that makes the problem later in the episode. It can be an object or a person or a spell or a machine or something like that. The characters will either get jealous of each other or they might get hurt or they might hurt someone and that will eventually make them apologize and they will become best friends again, and the object or person or machine or spell will be back to normal. Example: in Wizards of Waverly place the siblings learned a spell that could duplicate them selves. Alex wants to go shopping with her friends but she has a Wizard lesson that day and her father refuses to let her go to the mall or what ever. She makes a clone of herself and puts her in position so that it looks like she is listening and than she bolts so she can get to the store on time. Meanwhile at home, her father tells her clone that she can go to the store but her clone doesn't respond, since its just a dummy. So they go to the store and Alex gets busted.
3.) There needs to be a serious part at the end where everything gets straightened out and people apologize to each other and everything is fine. Example: In Wizards of Waverly Place Alex gets grounded for sneaking out and so she goes up to her father and says that she is sorry and that it was stupid and she says sorry again and than she hugs him, and which point I am on the floor crying because its so funny.
This has been "Breaking down the show," with Eli Hacker, see you next time.
I had watched this show before, way back in the day when I only watched Nickelodeon and Disney. It was on at 2 right after Hanna Montana. I have to make a confession. Back about 2 years ago, I happened across a Hanna Montana show, and I liked it i guess and I watched it and before you could say "I got the best of both worlds," I was watching it every day. Eventually, grandma caught me and she never let me forget it. When ever we passed the Hanna Montana merchandise at Fred Meyer, she would say "you wanna get some, Eli?" *Shiver Shiver.* Wow, i feel a lot better now that I have gotten that out there.
Back to the point, I watched this show for a while and I was cracking up after about 30 seconds of watching it. It was hilarious... to make fun of, and so here we get to the point of this post. I am going to lay down the rules of a Disney Channel show, and maybe even past the show, to the commercials. This post is not different from another that I wrote, Eclipse. I am going to make suggestions and lay down the rules of every Disney show. Oh, yeah, before I forget, Wizards of Waverly Place, is a show about 3 young wizards who are learning the wizard trade. Every Wednesday, they have class, getting taught by there non-wizard father. Every week they learn a spell and what they shouldn't use it for, and than the middle child, Alex, makes a mistake and almost exposes the wizarding world to the... humans. Sorry i really wanted to say muggles.
1.) There is always a clueless character in it that makes it humorous so that people not only learn a lesson from the show, so they can laugh... and learn a lesson from the show. They say really stupid things that are only funny to 3 year olds, like "I use a toothbrush to get the mustard off," or Question "So do you like Little Women?" "Well, you know I'm not that picky." Example: Max, from Wizards of Waverly Place, is the youngest of the 3 siblings and everyone thinks that he is really stupid and he is. He was the one that said the thing about the mustard. Example: Zack, from The Suit Life on Deck, is the oldest of 2 brothers and Cody, the other one is really smart but Zack is really stupid, he is always copying answers off of Cody's tests, and he is also really unsanitary, like he ate a sandwich that he found in his underwear drawer and he hides food under his fingernails so that "I can have a great snack in when i'm hungry at school."
2.) The characters need to get something new that makes the problem later in the episode. It can be an object or a person or a spell or a machine or something like that. The characters will either get jealous of each other or they might get hurt or they might hurt someone and that will eventually make them apologize and they will become best friends again, and the object or person or machine or spell will be back to normal. Example: in Wizards of Waverly place the siblings learned a spell that could duplicate them selves. Alex wants to go shopping with her friends but she has a Wizard lesson that day and her father refuses to let her go to the mall or what ever. She makes a clone of herself and puts her in position so that it looks like she is listening and than she bolts so she can get to the store on time. Meanwhile at home, her father tells her clone that she can go to the store but her clone doesn't respond, since its just a dummy. So they go to the store and Alex gets busted.
3.) There needs to be a serious part at the end where everything gets straightened out and people apologize to each other and everything is fine. Example: In Wizards of Waverly Place Alex gets grounded for sneaking out and so she goes up to her father and says that she is sorry and that it was stupid and she says sorry again and than she hugs him, and which point I am on the floor crying because its so funny.
This has been "Breaking down the show," with Eli Hacker, see you next time.
7.06.2010
The Turkeyradio Times: July 6th 2010: "Local adolescent drives to grandma's house in far away 'christian' town,"
Column 1: Boy drives to town populated by christians.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable happened. A boy, age 12, left his home in Portland to go all the way up to Goldendale. The boy was not kidnapped or raiped, he just left Portland. Good thing "Turkeyradio Times," is here to bring it to you first.
Thanks, Mark. It all happened, about 3 weeks ago, when this young boy's mom decided to send him to his grandma's house for 2 week's before, returning to home and going to his Larry Steele basketball camp. Eli, the 12 year old boy, made lot's of sarcastic remarks about his grandma's house between then, and now, but inside he really felt like he wanted to go to his grandma's house. Sources indicate, that he was happy when he got there, so happy, in fact that he started to dance around his room, nerf basketball in hand.
Before he left to go to Goldendale, he and his mother and grandmother, stopped by the local plant shop to get some plants for there garden's. Eli, as you can imagine was not thrilled about it, but he stuck along for the ride, knowing that there was a "Whopper," in it for him afterwards. Sources indicate that, not only did he eat a Whopper, but he also ate a side of fries and start chicken nuggets that are supposed to look like crowns and some sprite. Mark?
Well, Staci, this boy must have been hungry because that's a lot of food for a 12 year old to consume at one time, not that I blame him. All that he had had that day was hashbrowns and egg's 3 hours earlier. The poor kid must have been starving. Back to you, Staci.
Thank you, mark. I am being told that on the way down to Goldendale, Eli and his grandmother listened to a cheesy Mary Higgins Clark audiobook. Well, thats all we have for now. See you next time on The Turkeyradio Times.
Column 2: Advice column.
Today's word of advice is this. Being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it.
Thank you,
Today, ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable happened. A boy, age 12, left his home in Portland to go all the way up to Goldendale. The boy was not kidnapped or raiped, he just left Portland. Good thing "Turkeyradio Times," is here to bring it to you first.
Thanks, Mark. It all happened, about 3 weeks ago, when this young boy's mom decided to send him to his grandma's house for 2 week's before, returning to home and going to his Larry Steele basketball camp. Eli, the 12 year old boy, made lot's of sarcastic remarks about his grandma's house between then, and now, but inside he really felt like he wanted to go to his grandma's house. Sources indicate, that he was happy when he got there, so happy, in fact that he started to dance around his room, nerf basketball in hand.
Before he left to go to Goldendale, he and his mother and grandmother, stopped by the local plant shop to get some plants for there garden's. Eli, as you can imagine was not thrilled about it, but he stuck along for the ride, knowing that there was a "Whopper," in it for him afterwards. Sources indicate that, not only did he eat a Whopper, but he also ate a side of fries and start chicken nuggets that are supposed to look like crowns and some sprite. Mark?
Well, Staci, this boy must have been hungry because that's a lot of food for a 12 year old to consume at one time, not that I blame him. All that he had had that day was hashbrowns and egg's 3 hours earlier. The poor kid must have been starving. Back to you, Staci.
Thank you, mark. I am being told that on the way down to Goldendale, Eli and his grandmother listened to a cheesy Mary Higgins Clark audiobook. Well, thats all we have for now. See you next time on The Turkeyradio Times.
Column 2: Advice column.
Today's word of advice is this. Being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it.
Thank you,
7.03.2010
Writing in the library,
Today my father came over, as he usually does on saturdays. It started out with us just doing our usual things, arguing over who's phone is better, telling each other how mean we are, and hugging each other repeatedly. When I was playing video games, around 3, he said he was going to go. I said "NOOO!" And asked him where he was going. He told me he was going to go over to library and do some writing. I looked at Thomas and asked him when Tony was going to be over.
"6:00," he told me and than said as long as I was back by than, it would be okay to go to the library. I got some bus fare out of my quarter collection, and me and my dad left the house.
Not 2 mminutes into the walk we were already arguing about where the nearest library was. We both agreed that it was on Woodstalk, but he thought that Woodstalk was back in the Mt. Scott direction. I corrected him, and said that it was actually down on 82nd. He looked at me for a second and than said "your probably right," and we started walking.
It almost felt like driving with my mom or Thomas, because he was on his phone almost 50% of the time we were walking, and the other 50% he was telling me about how i didn't know how happy he was to have a phone. Every time he said that I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows, followed by him calling me mean.
I am not mean. Well maybe sometimes I can be a little discouraging, but I wouldn't call it mean. I can understand why I would be mean to him though, because I had just spent the last 5 days with a bunch of dumbnuts that thought cake was made entirely out of frosting. Obviosly he has never had cake before.
When we got to 82nd we didn't know wether to go right or left, so we went into a plaid pantry and asked. I thought that we had to go right and the cashier confirmed that. Thats when I started yelling "WHAT NOW!" And "IN YOUR FACE!" To him.
Every single time we turned the corner i said that it was only going to be a few more blocks and in 3 blocks I would say that I was sure it was going to be after this building, and so on and so forth.
Eventually we got to the library, and we signed up for computers and waited, all that jazz. I think it is really fun to write someplace other than my house or grandma's. It is a change in apnosphere, and it kind of inspires me to write.
Note: The reason Tony is coming to pick me up is that me and him and Amy are going to go see the new Twilight movie, Eclipse, tonight and I am really excited. I will have a full breakdown of it either tomorrow or the next day. Sigh... i love writing in the library.
"6:00," he told me and than said as long as I was back by than, it would be okay to go to the library. I got some bus fare out of my quarter collection, and me and my dad left the house.
Not 2 mminutes into the walk we were already arguing about where the nearest library was. We both agreed that it was on Woodstalk, but he thought that Woodstalk was back in the Mt. Scott direction. I corrected him, and said that it was actually down on 82nd. He looked at me for a second and than said "your probably right," and we started walking.
It almost felt like driving with my mom or Thomas, because he was on his phone almost 50% of the time we were walking, and the other 50% he was telling me about how i didn't know how happy he was to have a phone. Every time he said that I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows, followed by him calling me mean.
I am not mean. Well maybe sometimes I can be a little discouraging, but I wouldn't call it mean. I can understand why I would be mean to him though, because I had just spent the last 5 days with a bunch of dumbnuts that thought cake was made entirely out of frosting. Obviosly he has never had cake before.
When we got to 82nd we didn't know wether to go right or left, so we went into a plaid pantry and asked. I thought that we had to go right and the cashier confirmed that. Thats when I started yelling "WHAT NOW!" And "IN YOUR FACE!" To him.
Every single time we turned the corner i said that it was only going to be a few more blocks and in 3 blocks I would say that I was sure it was going to be after this building, and so on and so forth.
Eventually we got to the library, and we signed up for computers and waited, all that jazz. I think it is really fun to write someplace other than my house or grandma's. It is a change in apnosphere, and it kind of inspires me to write.
Note: The reason Tony is coming to pick me up is that me and him and Amy are going to go see the new Twilight movie, Eclipse, tonight and I am really excited. I will have a full breakdown of it either tomorrow or the next day. Sigh... i love writing in the library.
7.01.2010
Wet-Ball!
Hello, reader's, I am finally back from my aweso- my basketball camp at George Fox university. I never thought I would say I was tired of basketball, but after that I might not touch one until my next basketball camp. Don't freak out, but I think, right now, I am leaning towards not liking basketball. I know! Here is my story.
Well there I was sitting on my couch bed, in my really small dorm. I looked around the room and took it all in. It was the first time I had really been alone all day, but it was worth it. My roomate was in the bathroom, taking a shower and all the other kids had finally stopped dribbling there f***ing ball down the hallway's. Before, I was laying down, trying to relax, but I couldn't, due to the bouncing of the balls.
My roomate came into the room and almost immediately turned off the light and got in his purple sleeping bag. I decided that I liked him. All the other people that I have stayed with at a camp have been the kind of kids who wake up at 7 without an alarm, and decide that they are bored, so they wake you up. I hate those people.
I tried to shut my eyes, but I couldn't at all. I couldn't go to sleep, so I thought about my day. We left at 12:30 and when we were on the road we listened to mom and Thomas' valentines cd. It was beyond sappy. We got to the main building at about 1:30 and we got into a long line, to sign me up, or rather to check me in. We went to find my dorm, and than found out that we had to drive to the high school because there was a bell choir staying in there. We dropped my stuff off at the dorm and drove to a gym that was at a different high school.
Once we got there we quickly found out that we needed to have my ball, even though the list said that we didn't. (flip off, flip off.) We than, drove back to the dorm and got my ball.
We were all separated into groups and I was in the 3rd one. Our group went to a big gym, right across from the one that we were in. I took a moment to look at all the coaches and coaching staff. For privacy purposes I will not use there real names. There was a really, really white one named marion berry. Now, when I say white, I mean, white. He was wearing his socks really high and his shirt was tucked into his shorts and his shorts were pulled up to his belly button.
There was a really fit one who seemed to be pretty good, a short one, and another short one, who was the one yelling at us at that moment.
I am not going to tell you everything about camp, just the general stuff and the highlights. The cafeteria was in the back of the main building and it was a really big room. We would get in a line and get a trey and some silverware. We got to get our own drink and everything, it was like a buffet. I thought that the food was going to be good, boy was I wrong. The food was basically freeze dryed grease. It sucked balls.
When we were in the gym, when ever someone would make a 3 someone would always yell out wet-ball. It got really annoying after a while. Every 2 seconds you would hear someone yell, WET-BALL!
That is why I named this blog after it, because it was the word that I heard the most.
The next cool thing that I did was on Tuesday night, we did this thing called intensity night. It is where we do all this work out stuff like push ups, mushroom hops, super-man's, mini holes, what have you. I got the best work out that I think I have ever had... ever! It was so intense. I sweat through my entire under shirt and I was so tired that after a while it was a rest to do push-ups.
The next thing I want to say is that I learned a lot at this camp, but I didn't really like it that much.
The last thing I want to say before this is over is that I thought it was only going to be a little catholic. Wooi mama. I was wrong. there are bible quotation's everywhere you looked and on the last night a speaker came and he made us ask god to save our mortal soul. Yes, we were forced to pray.
In discussion groups we were asked to say how god has effected our life and I said that i didn't have a story and I wasn't really religious, and the coach said that if I wanted to live my life like that, "so be it." I feel so bad!
Wet-ball!
Well there I was sitting on my couch bed, in my really small dorm. I looked around the room and took it all in. It was the first time I had really been alone all day, but it was worth it. My roomate was in the bathroom, taking a shower and all the other kids had finally stopped dribbling there f***ing ball down the hallway's. Before, I was laying down, trying to relax, but I couldn't, due to the bouncing of the balls.
My roomate came into the room and almost immediately turned off the light and got in his purple sleeping bag. I decided that I liked him. All the other people that I have stayed with at a camp have been the kind of kids who wake up at 7 without an alarm, and decide that they are bored, so they wake you up. I hate those people.
I tried to shut my eyes, but I couldn't at all. I couldn't go to sleep, so I thought about my day. We left at 12:30 and when we were on the road we listened to mom and Thomas' valentines cd. It was beyond sappy. We got to the main building at about 1:30 and we got into a long line, to sign me up, or rather to check me in. We went to find my dorm, and than found out that we had to drive to the high school because there was a bell choir staying in there. We dropped my stuff off at the dorm and drove to a gym that was at a different high school.
Once we got there we quickly found out that we needed to have my ball, even though the list said that we didn't. (flip off, flip off.) We than, drove back to the dorm and got my ball.
We were all separated into groups and I was in the 3rd one. Our group went to a big gym, right across from the one that we were in. I took a moment to look at all the coaches and coaching staff. For privacy purposes I will not use there real names. There was a really, really white one named marion berry. Now, when I say white, I mean, white. He was wearing his socks really high and his shirt was tucked into his shorts and his shorts were pulled up to his belly button.
There was a really fit one who seemed to be pretty good, a short one, and another short one, who was the one yelling at us at that moment.
I am not going to tell you everything about camp, just the general stuff and the highlights. The cafeteria was in the back of the main building and it was a really big room. We would get in a line and get a trey and some silverware. We got to get our own drink and everything, it was like a buffet. I thought that the food was going to be good, boy was I wrong. The food was basically freeze dryed grease. It sucked balls.
When we were in the gym, when ever someone would make a 3 someone would always yell out wet-ball. It got really annoying after a while. Every 2 seconds you would hear someone yell, WET-BALL!
That is why I named this blog after it, because it was the word that I heard the most.
The next cool thing that I did was on Tuesday night, we did this thing called intensity night. It is where we do all this work out stuff like push ups, mushroom hops, super-man's, mini holes, what have you. I got the best work out that I think I have ever had... ever! It was so intense. I sweat through my entire under shirt and I was so tired that after a while it was a rest to do push-ups.
The next thing I want to say is that I learned a lot at this camp, but I didn't really like it that much.
The last thing I want to say before this is over is that I thought it was only going to be a little catholic. Wooi mama. I was wrong. there are bible quotation's everywhere you looked and on the last night a speaker came and he made us ask god to save our mortal soul. Yes, we were forced to pray.
In discussion groups we were asked to say how god has effected our life and I said that i didn't have a story and I wasn't really religious, and the coach said that if I wanted to live my life like that, "so be it." I feel so bad!
Wet-ball!
6.25.2010
Grandma's House Vs. Mama's House,
This is going to be a comparison of houses, a break down of the overall coolness of each house, a contrast of the 2 different houses. This is... Grandma's House Vs. Mama's House.
1.) At grandma's house I feel more disconnected from people, but more connected with the television. At my mom's house i feel like I am in tune with my inner basketball player and socializer, but not my inner television watcher, I feel like i am more connected with people, at my mama's house.
2.) At grandma's house, when we are watching television on the couch and all of a sudden a Yaz commercial comes on, she will change the channel and make a "Ssss," sound with her lips, the same sound she makes when she sees me playing Nerf basketball. At my mama's house, if a Yaz commercial comes on, than we will talk about how, if she was grandma, she would change the channel.
3.) At my mom's house I feel more free to express my inner diva and also my inner gay person (i am not gay, but everyone has an inner gay person,) i also can say "god!" Without getting the whole "lords name in vain," speech.
4.) At grandma's house I feel like my jokes are more of the simple ones that I told in 1st grade, but at Mama's house my jokes are ones that resemble Stephen Colbert. But not really because no one can be as funny as him. Just ask Thomas. Actually I think Thomas prefers Jon Stewart. Anyway, here is an example of me and Grandma's house: I could play nerf basketball all night and than, fall asleep in a little corner in the hallway. Mama's house: Telling my mom that my friend Robert thought that Tom Petty was in The Beatles. Now this joke wouldn't work with grandma because she doesn't know who Tom Petty is. She thought Neil Young was a basketball player when I told her about my expert project.
5.) Basketball; at my mama's house I can go over to the park, and play basketball whenever I please. But at grandma's house we have to drive all the way into town and play there, and I can only go once a day.
1.) At grandma's house I feel more disconnected from people, but more connected with the television. At my mom's house i feel like I am in tune with my inner basketball player and socializer, but not my inner television watcher, I feel like i am more connected with people, at my mama's house.
2.) At grandma's house, when we are watching television on the couch and all of a sudden a Yaz commercial comes on, she will change the channel and make a "Ssss," sound with her lips, the same sound she makes when she sees me playing Nerf basketball. At my mama's house, if a Yaz commercial comes on, than we will talk about how, if she was grandma, she would change the channel.
3.) At my mom's house I feel more free to express my inner diva and also my inner gay person (i am not gay, but everyone has an inner gay person,) i also can say "god!" Without getting the whole "lords name in vain," speech.
4.) At grandma's house I feel like my jokes are more of the simple ones that I told in 1st grade, but at Mama's house my jokes are ones that resemble Stephen Colbert. But not really because no one can be as funny as him. Just ask Thomas. Actually I think Thomas prefers Jon Stewart. Anyway, here is an example of me and Grandma's house: I could play nerf basketball all night and than, fall asleep in a little corner in the hallway. Mama's house: Telling my mom that my friend Robert thought that Tom Petty was in The Beatles. Now this joke wouldn't work with grandma because she doesn't know who Tom Petty is. She thought Neil Young was a basketball player when I told her about my expert project.
5.) Basketball; at my mama's house I can go over to the park, and play basketball whenever I please. But at grandma's house we have to drive all the way into town and play there, and I can only go once a day.
5.04.2010
My Sleepy Little Mother Takes a Well Deserved Nap (She made me make that the title, just F.W.I)
Over the last 2 days my mom, I have noticed, has been picking me up from school really late. I mean, not that I really care all that much considering the fun the me and Russian and Kayla have taking pictures of our self's with her camera-phone and sending them to each other, but it's been kind of cold and wet lately and I've been looking forward to driving home.
Today, after school I got out and went out-side to find Kayla waiting their for us. I always like going to our spot after school because I am never the first one there. I am never the one who has to briefly stand there alone by him-self, waiting for all your other friends to get there. I am never the guy who all the 8th graders feel sorry for because they think I have no friends. No, I am not that guy. And I was wondering today after I arrived at the spot, what if I was "that guy?"
"Hey, Eli," she says. I nod and go to stand in my regular spot, just under Mr. Bacon's room.
"You know that Mr Bacon is going to be back from Japan, tomorrow, Eli," the Russian said.
"Aww crap," I said, while applying center of pal forcefully to forehead. "But I don't think he will actually be AT school, maybe he will take the day off because he JUST got back and he is really tired."
"Probably not," Russian said "he would teach the day the world ended if he had to."
Just than Kayla's mom's car pulled over and honked at kayla. She said goodbye and got in it.
I noticed that her mom's window was open so I thought it would be funny to scream "wait I thought that guy you were with got in the car to," right as they turned the corner, but I don't think that they heard me.
Shortly after that my mom's car came around and motioned for me to get in. I tried to walk as slowly as I could to the car so when I got in it she would call me "Slowy McSlowerson" again. I like it when she says that. We went to the insurance place to get me some new insurance, because I no longer had any. While she was inside the store I turned on the radio to Z100 and Me and The McJazzerson had A dance party in the car. At one point he got really P.Oed so I gave him his bink and we just went right back on Rockin'&Rollin'.... Oh L.O.L.
When My mom got back out from inside the... place, I quickly turned off the radio and put the bink in 105.6 smooth jazz's mouth so I would seem more inconspicuous.
We drove home and she parked in the drive way and told me that she felt she deserved to have a nap. I said "whatever" thinking that once she was asleep I could yell and wake everybody up.
She fell asleep rather (yes... rather) fast and so I tried to stealt the keys from her hands but failed and she woke up and scolded me for it and than she quietly went back to sleep. And all this time I'm thinkin'how the hell can you fall asleep in a car... I can't even take a nap in the middle of the day.
Once she was really asleep I moved my position and tried to open my door as quietly as I could and I succeeded, she didn't wake up or even move a muscle. I closed the door and she still didn't move at all. I thought that it was really funny.
I crossed over to the other side of the car and started making faces at my sleeping mother. I had to hold all my laughter in so I wouldn't wake her up, but once it was to much, all my laughter came out in one loud brief SNNNNOOORT!And she still didn't wake up.
I walked around the car and looked at it, and than I ran across the street for no apparent reason and than came back. I did this many more times and once a UPS truck almost hit me... AAAAAHHHH.
I spent the next 10 minutes just playing around and seeing how far I could run away from the car without her noticing that I wasn't there. I made it to the baseball diamond, about 30 yards away, but I was to chicken to go further than that.
So now we are about 15 minutes into the nap and I really have to go pee. I don't think that it would be right to wake my mother from her nap to get the keys so I just go pee on a tree in the back yard of the house.
When I got back from urinating my mom had already woken up and thats when it hit me... TAKE ONE MORE NAP!!!!!
Today, after school I got out and went out-side to find Kayla waiting their for us. I always like going to our spot after school because I am never the first one there. I am never the one who has to briefly stand there alone by him-self, waiting for all your other friends to get there. I am never the guy who all the 8th graders feel sorry for because they think I have no friends. No, I am not that guy. And I was wondering today after I arrived at the spot, what if I was "that guy?"
"Hey, Eli," she says. I nod and go to stand in my regular spot, just under Mr. Bacon's room.
"You know that Mr Bacon is going to be back from Japan, tomorrow, Eli," the Russian said.
"Aww crap," I said, while applying center of pal forcefully to forehead. "But I don't think he will actually be AT school, maybe he will take the day off because he JUST got back and he is really tired."
"Probably not," Russian said "he would teach the day the world ended if he had to."
Just than Kayla's mom's car pulled over and honked at kayla. She said goodbye and got in it.
I noticed that her mom's window was open so I thought it would be funny to scream "wait I thought that guy you were with got in the car to," right as they turned the corner, but I don't think that they heard me.
Shortly after that my mom's car came around and motioned for me to get in. I tried to walk as slowly as I could to the car so when I got in it she would call me "Slowy McSlowerson" again. I like it when she says that. We went to the insurance place to get me some new insurance, because I no longer had any. While she was inside the store I turned on the radio to Z100 and Me and The McJazzerson had A dance party in the car. At one point he got really P.Oed so I gave him his bink and we just went right back on Rockin'&Rollin'.... Oh L.O.L.
When My mom got back out from inside the... place, I quickly turned off the radio and put the bink in 105.6 smooth jazz's mouth so I would seem more inconspicuous.
We drove home and she parked in the drive way and told me that she felt she deserved to have a nap. I said "whatever" thinking that once she was asleep I could yell and wake everybody up.
She fell asleep rather (yes... rather) fast and so I tried to stealt the keys from her hands but failed and she woke up and scolded me for it and than she quietly went back to sleep. And all this time I'm thinkin'how the hell can you fall asleep in a car... I can't even take a nap in the middle of the day.
Once she was really asleep I moved my position and tried to open my door as quietly as I could and I succeeded, she didn't wake up or even move a muscle. I closed the door and she still didn't move at all. I thought that it was really funny.
I crossed over to the other side of the car and started making faces at my sleeping mother. I had to hold all my laughter in so I wouldn't wake her up, but once it was to much, all my laughter came out in one loud brief SNNNNOOORT!And she still didn't wake up.
I walked around the car and looked at it, and than I ran across the street for no apparent reason and than came back. I did this many more times and once a UPS truck almost hit me... AAAAAHHHH.
I spent the next 10 minutes just playing around and seeing how far I could run away from the car without her noticing that I wasn't there. I made it to the baseball diamond, about 30 yards away, but I was to chicken to go further than that.
So now we are about 15 minutes into the nap and I really have to go pee. I don't think that it would be right to wake my mother from her nap to get the keys so I just go pee on a tree in the back yard of the house.
When I got back from urinating my mom had already woken up and thats when it hit me... TAKE ONE MORE NAP!!!!!
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