Yes, at first I wanted to type this on my new typewriter, but than I came across the fact that it was just a piece of shit and would not cooperate with me if I bribed it. Yes, I got a new typewriter, not that I ever had one. Grandma got it for me a couple weeks ago and apparently "forgot," to tell me about it, because I seemed just "fine," with typing on the computer. Well, I have news for you, sister, I want to type on a typewriter. Typewriter; the longest word you can type on the very first row of your keyboard. It was a typewriter that was supposed to be able to erase your mistakes, but than I found out that instead of ink, there was whiteout. It almost inspired me to see if I could make a better rip off, though that is highly unlikely. So we went online and ordered some ink, to put in it so I can see what i am typing. I will start to write blogs on it, and maybe even some stories that you won't be able to read. Maybe me and my father could do a father, son novelist think like Anne and Christopher Rice. SPINE SHIVERING! SPINE SHIVERING!
Anyway, to the point, this last weekend was the family reunion for 3 different families in one back-yard. Yes you heard me right, they were going to merge 3 completely different family reunions. It's like a... 3 for 1 deal. Anyway, so we were there with 2 other family's that we didn't know. But the food made up for it. When I went to get food I saw some stuffing on the table, I got some and realized something horrible, under the stuffing there was a huge layer of crappy mashed potato's. Another rip off. But other than that, and the 8 salads on the table (Record: 9 at a wedding at the G-dale church) the food was wonderful. I ate my worries away. One of those worries was if I would ever recover from all the food i was eating. it all goes straight to my thighs. When I wake up tomorrow I am going to find camera's from "the biggest loser," surrounding my bed.
This weekend also made me feel like such a city boy. I found out that my grandpa grew up the Eddyville area. And all the tree's and stuff. All the people talking about how much they loathe Portland. There probably mixing us up with Cleveland.
The weird thing about the Reunion was that there was a history of it. it was always on the 2nd Sunday of each july and there was a treasury. Yep, thats right. There was a treasury... for a family reunion. That brought giggles to my face. Tee-hee.
Another funny thing is that when I went to sleep on Saturday night, at GG and Gramps' house, the bed was lined with plastic. okay sure I used to have a bed-wetting problem, but those days are behind me, and you don't need to make me feel bad. Gosh. Kidding I am kidding please don't take that seriously. All in all it was a big LOL. Oh my God, best rhyme ever.
Showing posts with label awesomeness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awesomeness. Show all posts
7.05.2010
Ho' Depot's and Adison Rose,
Last night was epic. Not a good kind of epic, just epic. First off, there was a big giant "BOOM," every 2 seconds and sometime the boom even shook the house. Second, I left my shades up so that I would be able to see the fireworks as I drifted off to sleep (with the faint vibration of the house every 4 seconds) but that didn't work out either, because when I closed my eyes I would hear fireworks and i would open them immediately and they would stop. At about 11:30 it really started to piss me off, so i decided to just start going to sleep. Let me tell you, people, I slept because when I woke up, it was 10 and Thomas was telling me he was going to work and my mom was going to visit the new might-be nanny.
I thought it would be smart to seize the opportunity and so I did. I stumbled out of bed and started to play my PS3 video game, 2K10. I started a new Myplayer (you make your own character and try to get him to the NBA) and I swore that this one was going to make it to the NBA and not get sent to the D-league (trash can or reject can.) I named him the stupidest name in the world. I named him Adison Rose. Yeah, that's right Adison Rose. I later found out that, that name was totally a girl name so I went to settings and changed his sexuality to homosexual. It worked better from there because if he ever got a go ahead bucket he would strut up the court slowly and file his nails, all the while flipping his hair.
This one really was different, because he was kicking ass from the moment he stepped on the court. I thought i was going to lead him all the way to the NBA and I am so close. He got invited to the Miami Heat's training camp (he was thrilled about that, they got sexy male models) but the first 2 games he played, he sucked Mario Chamers' balls. I think in the 2nd game he got like 9 assists 17 rebounds and 2 points that came from the free throw line.
When he got invited to the training camp, I made him get a bunch of tattoo's everywhere, and I added a really cool beard. Wish me luck, I really think I need it (lets review, trying to lead a homosexual player with really bad shooting and a bad uniform pattern to the NBA) stop it! (No you stop it!) Don't listen to him he- (No, he's crazy.) *Stop it, both of you!*
PART 2,
Mom decided that she wanted to get ready for our garden by making a trip to the home depot. I thought it would be really fun, what with all the lawn mowers and chain-saw's that don't work. Mmmmm toasty. I also wanted to go there to get some onion's because I really want to plant some for the garden. But my mom didn't want to get plants, she just wanted to get shovels and other crap like that. At one point I was on the ground yelling "Onion's, mom, I want the damn onion's!"
But I have to admit, it was fun to sit on the lawn mowers and pretend like I was driving. I would pretend drive like Ron, with one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.
We also got some wood lining because she wants to make the path to our back yard full of bark dust and lined with those. I think that it will never get done but if it does it is going to be freakin' awesome.
I thought it would be smart to seize the opportunity and so I did. I stumbled out of bed and started to play my PS3 video game, 2K10. I started a new Myplayer (you make your own character and try to get him to the NBA) and I swore that this one was going to make it to the NBA and not get sent to the D-league (trash can or reject can.) I named him the stupidest name in the world. I named him Adison Rose. Yeah, that's right Adison Rose. I later found out that, that name was totally a girl name so I went to settings and changed his sexuality to homosexual. It worked better from there because if he ever got a go ahead bucket he would strut up the court slowly and file his nails, all the while flipping his hair.
This one really was different, because he was kicking ass from the moment he stepped on the court. I thought i was going to lead him all the way to the NBA and I am so close. He got invited to the Miami Heat's training camp (he was thrilled about that, they got sexy male models) but the first 2 games he played, he sucked Mario Chamers' balls. I think in the 2nd game he got like 9 assists 17 rebounds and 2 points that came from the free throw line.
When he got invited to the training camp, I made him get a bunch of tattoo's everywhere, and I added a really cool beard. Wish me luck, I really think I need it (lets review, trying to lead a homosexual player with really bad shooting and a bad uniform pattern to the NBA) stop it! (No you stop it!) Don't listen to him he- (No, he's crazy.) *Stop it, both of you!*
PART 2,
Mom decided that she wanted to get ready for our garden by making a trip to the home depot. I thought it would be really fun, what with all the lawn mowers and chain-saw's that don't work. Mmmmm toasty. I also wanted to go there to get some onion's because I really want to plant some for the garden. But my mom didn't want to get plants, she just wanted to get shovels and other crap like that. At one point I was on the ground yelling "Onion's, mom, I want the damn onion's!"
But I have to admit, it was fun to sit on the lawn mowers and pretend like I was driving. I would pretend drive like Ron, with one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.
We also got some wood lining because she wants to make the path to our back yard full of bark dust and lined with those. I think that it will never get done but if it does it is going to be freakin' awesome.
Attention/caution: This post is a lot funner to read if you read it and listen to Goldfrapp's "dreaming," at the same time. Also this blog contains so much sarcasm, that the author can't be sarcastic for a few more weeks so don't believe everything you read. Again, good life lesson.
6.26.2010
Me and My Daddy,
I just want to start by saying that I will not be blogging until Thursday, when I arrive back from my, supposed to be awesome, basketball camp. I will share my journals and the feeling of having a real shower after 5 days of sweating. Do they have showers at colleges? I hope so because I can barely stand myself after 1 game of basketball. In the words of grandma, "Sssss!"
Today was the day where my daddy was supposed to come over, and he did and it was awesome. He got to our front door at about 10 and that surprised me because, on days that he hasn't partied, he usually gets up at around 1. He told me that his bag had gotten stolen, and that made me mad because he was writing a story that I wanted to read.
We were going to watch the world cup game, but I decided that I wanted to go play basketball, and my father followed suit. I taught him some of the basics, of how to hold the balls and how to dribble them and how to hold them, while your dribbling them. I have to say that he got pretty good, at least the way he shot got better. He looked like some people that i know who are pretty good.
When we came back in, the world cup game was on and so we watched that for a while. My dad fell asleep, and eventually got to taking a nap. He was asleep for such a long time, that I went out to play and than came in, watched television, and after that he was still sleeping.
Once he woke up, me and my father went out and started to haul dirt and we realized one huge problem, we had to much dirt, and when I say to much dirt I mean that we are going to have 2 cubic feet of dirt in our driveway for the rest of our lives. We did so good, we filled in the bed and now we are okay to plant onions. Yeah!
After that we started to wash Thomas' car, because my dad needed some money. It was so fun to spray that nice blue car with water. So cool.
After that we went down to plaid pantry and me and my father had a really nice chat. All in all it was a nice, last day before basketball camp.
Today was the day where my daddy was supposed to come over, and he did and it was awesome. He got to our front door at about 10 and that surprised me because, on days that he hasn't partied, he usually gets up at around 1. He told me that his bag had gotten stolen, and that made me mad because he was writing a story that I wanted to read.
We were going to watch the world cup game, but I decided that I wanted to go play basketball, and my father followed suit. I taught him some of the basics, of how to hold the balls and how to dribble them and how to hold them, while your dribbling them. I have to say that he got pretty good, at least the way he shot got better. He looked like some people that i know who are pretty good.
When we came back in, the world cup game was on and so we watched that for a while. My dad fell asleep, and eventually got to taking a nap. He was asleep for such a long time, that I went out to play and than came in, watched television, and after that he was still sleeping.
Once he woke up, me and my father went out and started to haul dirt and we realized one huge problem, we had to much dirt, and when I say to much dirt I mean that we are going to have 2 cubic feet of dirt in our driveway for the rest of our lives. We did so good, we filled in the bed and now we are okay to plant onions. Yeah!
After that we started to wash Thomas' car, because my dad needed some money. It was so fun to spray that nice blue car with water. So cool.
After that we went down to plaid pantry and me and my father had a really nice chat. All in all it was a nice, last day before basketball camp.
5.21.2010
Awaiting My New Phone,
Hello, everybody. Well I guess I should start at the very beginning, for this story. Back, oh, about 6 months ago I got all inspired to save up enough money to buy myself a nice, decent phone, as apposed to the one that I have now... I never made it. At one point I had saved up $150, but that was when I started to buy a lot of Basketball autographs online. In between all of the autographs and sudden loss of money to my dad, I lost faith in getting a phone for myself.
But the story goes on... 6 months later, me and my grandma are driving up to her house and we are talking about Blackberry phones, and she asks me "hey Eli aren't you going to get a new phone this month," and from that moment on I was obsessed with getting a new phone to replace my excuse of a phone....
Me and my mom are on the couch and she looks at her computer and tells me that my new every 2 (when I get a new phone) is on the next day. I start to flip out because I am finally able to replace my phone. We look at phones online and I fall in love with an LG phone called the Cosmos. I am so exited to order it the next day. All I can think about at school is that phone. The qwerty keyboard... *drool.*
So people get down on your knees and pray. Ask God for forgiveness, since you are looking at something that you are not worthy to even set your eyes upon. Behold... the LG Cosmos!
And this phone will come in handy because I am thinking about getting a Twitter account and you can tweet from this without using the internet! COOL!
But the story goes on... 6 months later, me and my grandma are driving up to her house and we are talking about Blackberry phones, and she asks me "hey Eli aren't you going to get a new phone this month," and from that moment on I was obsessed with getting a new phone to replace my excuse of a phone....
Me and my mom are on the couch and she looks at her computer and tells me that my new every 2 (when I get a new phone) is on the next day. I start to flip out because I am finally able to replace my phone. We look at phones online and I fall in love with an LG phone called the Cosmos. I am so exited to order it the next day. All I can think about at school is that phone. The qwerty keyboard... *drool.*
So people get down on your knees and pray. Ask God for forgiveness, since you are looking at something that you are not worthy to even set your eyes upon. Behold... the LG Cosmos!
And this phone will come in handy because I am thinking about getting a Twitter account and you can tweet from this without using the internet! COOL!
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