My Commercial Dream...

Watch me make millions off this new product!!!

ELI: HI ELI HACKER HERE WITH THE NEW CRAP'N'WHPE. REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WHEN YOU HAVE A BIG DUMP AND YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET EVERYTHING OUT AFTERWARDS, WELL NO MORE WITH THE NEW CRAP'N'WHIPE YOU CAN SAFELY GET EVERYTHING OUT AFTER A DUMP.
BILLY: HOW DOES IT WORK?
ELI: WELL WITH THE NEW TITANIUM HANDS BUILT INTO YOUR TOILET IT SAFLEY REACHES INTO YOUR BUM AND TAKES OUT ALL THE REMAINING STUFF.
BILLY: WOW!!
ELI: I KNOW, WOW!
BILLY: CALL RIGHT NOW AND GET 1 CRAP'N'WHIPE FOR JUST 2 PAYMENTS OF 20 DOLLARS.
ELI: BUT WAIT IF YOU ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 4 MINUTES YOU CAN GET 2 CRAP'N'WHIPE'S FOR ONLY 2 PAYMENTS OF 10 DOLLARS.
BILLY: BUT WERE STILL NOT DONE ORDER RIGHT NOW AND WE WILL INCLUDE 1 TITANIUM PORTOPOTTY FOR FREE, THATS RIGHT FOR FREE!!!
ELI: CALL NOW!!!

Now i realize that to some people this might be disturbing... sorry. Here is my Fred Meyer commercial!!

I SEE THE PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE
I SEE MOST OF THEM ARE FOR ME
MAYBE A NEW VIDEO GAME
OR MAYBE SOMETHING QUITE MORE LAME
I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE
ONE OF THEM IS JUST A BAD CRAFTED TOY CAR
EVEN THOUGH IT SUCKS
I WOULDN'T CARE IF THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME THAT MUCH
BECAUSE THERE FAMILY
AND I DONT CARE WHATS UNDER THE TREE
WE EAT A NICE MEAL
WE GOT A FRED MEYER
JUST LIKE A STEAL
THERE'S TURKEY AND CAKE AND CRE'ME BRULAY
I STUFF MY FACE BUT I AM SURE TO SAY THANKS FOR THIS LOVELY MEAL WE GOT AT FRED MEYER JUST LIKE A STEAL
SO GO TO FRED MEYER FOR YOUR FAMILY SHOPPING
FROM KITCHEN TO CLEANING AND EVEN MOPPING
SO GO TO FRED MEYER ANY OLD TIME
IT WILL ONLY COST YOU A LITTLE MORE THAN A DIME.



prices vary.