What is With all the short kids that can kick your ass?

Today as I walked t the park I was eager to get all my energy out before all the rain came in and "rained on my parade." I could see the dark storm clouds in the distance, closing i on me, watching my every move, thinking "hahahaa we are going to get you Eli." It started to sprinkle lightly and i knew that my time was going to be strictly limited due to the cloud. I started to run to escape the rain and as i did, ever so slowly, it started to stop sprinkling and the clouds parted, revealing the bright yellow sun.

As I closed in to the park I could hear the sound of a basketball being dribbled and I thought to myself yes i get to beat somebody and as i turned the corner, that led to the hoops i saw this really short really white kid playing against this girl and beating her. I thought that this guy was going to be beat so bad that he was never going to come back her again. I did my normal "i want to play a game with you" routine. I walked over to his hoop and started to shoot. We make eye contact and he seemed pretty good, he made some shots and made a really cool through the legs lay up, but than things changed.

I went up for a jump shot and I air balled it. He looked at me and said "nice shot," and than he got my ball for me. I said "thanks but i bet you can do better," and he gave me a funny look. He asked me if i wanted to play a game with him and i accepted. He walked over to his friend who was sitting on his bike watching us and said that e should watch him beat the crap out of him. I thought that this kid could never beat me.

I did my normal pre game routine, i told him he could start and i threw the ball in his face to let him know that i meant business. He started by trying to distract me by asking a bunch of questions like what school i went to and how old i was and than i fell for his fake and he went in and made a lay up. I cursed silently because i had never won a game where the other person had scored first and he seemed pretty good, so there was a good chance that that record might still be there when i wake up tomorrow.

He went into the corner and made a really hard contested 3 with my hand in his face and i gave him the ball and we checked. To keep things interesting I started to trash talk him. I asked him how tall he was and he said he was 4"7 and than i told him that was 5"5 and he said that the bigger they are the harder they fall.

"Are you calling me fat?" I asked after that remark. He said no and than he went in and made a lay up. Wow. Every time i play somebody they always fall for my humor and it distracts them and it makes the game easier. but not this guy. If i wanted to win this game I was going to have to go all skill on him. He shot a 3 and aired it which mean that it was my ball, but he said that there was no outs. I said yeah there was, and he said that we could do outs. At this point i was really pissed. He was doing the whole "even though we are going to play by your rules i am still going to kick your ass" routine and I didn't like it.

He gave me the ball at the top of the key. I finally got the ball and so i was going to make something of it. I had noticed that he hadn't done any behind the back moves and so i thought he didn't know that move so I was going to try it on him. I drove to the right and got really close to the rim and did a pump fake go him in the air, did a behind the back move and made a lay up. Even though it was the biggest double dribble of my life he didn't call it.

He gave me the ball at the top of the key and we did the thing all over again. This time I drove left and did a behind the back move but he stole it and he did it fast like he knew it was coming. Man, he adapted fast. Now that I think about it he kind of did look like a guy that would have had no trouble blending in on the Borg Mother Ship.