A 3 Hour Synopsis of Driving to Grandma's House,

Me and grandma left the house briefly after my brother's babysitter, Robin got there. We exited through the front door and almost immediately ran into Doom-dirt. In it we found a pair of radishes which made me lol until the point where I crapped my pants. Grandma asked if we put the radishes in there and I answered back saying that we would have to be crazy to put plants into dirt that, at some point, would turn into a garden. You don't put plants in dirt when the dirt isn't in a garden yet. Duuh!

She told me that we had to drive up to Oregon City to get some Victorian clothes that her friend was going to give to her. I sat there in the passenger seat reading and repeating directions until I almost memorized how to get there. I also renewed my hate of mapquest. They say that to get from 10th street to Jackson is 0.1 miles but guess what? it was more like 1 mile and just go to the website and try to get from Portland to Paris. See what I'm getting at.

After the horrible attempt to understand Mapquest we arrived at a yellow, cozy home that looked like an old English home that was built in the 20's. I was half right it was made it the 20's but it was supposed to look Victorian. Same thing! When we got inside it felt like we were in the lobby of a hotel, except considerably darker and smaller. In it there was a woman who seemed to be in her mid to late 50's and a closet full of Victorian clothing. When i say this lady had a lot of Victorian clothes it was an understatement.

Like grandma, it seemed, she was an antique collector. In the lobby of her house was an old antique cabinet. In it was a whole lot of books that were the same size color and length. I thought this lady would be crazy to keep the same book but when I took a closer look I saw that they were all readers digest. I had to stop myself from laughing. After that she went into her Victorian closet for I while and I stole an Altoid from an Altoid box on an antique table, no surprise.

When she arrived back from the journey that she had in her closet i noticed that she was wearing Sketcher's Shapeups! I had to keep myself from laughing again. Before we went she insisted that we went on a tour of her house. It looked like a Victorian Castle. oh my God. This woman didn't even have any clothes aside from her collection of Victorian clothes. Her house is Victorian. You know she seems like the kind of woman who would paint wallpaper oh wait she did that too she painted wallpaper gold and the wallpaper was on her ceiling! WALLpaper, people not ceiling paper!

Victorian wasn't the only theme in her house. I noticed that the toilet and the sinks were separated so that means she must have a New Zealand background as well. She even told us towards the end the the tour that her husband was born in New Zealand.

After we were done touring the interior of the house we went outside to the exterior and let me tell you it had Victorian written all over it. There were plants all over it and there were stone steps and everything. Now I know what a Victorian castle looks like. After a while we went back inside to pack up all the clothes. During that time we got to talking about how good god is. She told us that she went through some kind of illness and she kept saying that God saved her. That is plausible but maybe just maybe, i'm just saying, the doctor saved her.

I was so relieved when we finally left her house but right when we got in the car grandma whipped out the Mary Higgins Clark book and this time it was un-abridged. During the drive we stopped by Burgerking to get something and I was still hungry so while we were in the Dalles we did it again. They were doing this Eclipse contest, but I didn't win tickets to the movie for opening night. Sigh. The drive back was 3 hours.